'The Bachelorette' recap: Revelations on ice

Let us pause, Bachelorette fans, and appreciate the gravity of the moment we have just witnessed: The least. Dramatic. Rose ceremony. Ever. But, hey, we did get a pretty dramatic - if totally irrelevant, I am convinced, to Ali's overall journey - two-on-one date. What I'm saying is: Thank goodness for Kasey's tattoo, or Iceland would've been pretty lame, even with its historic volcano erupting.

We began our time in the land of frozen water with the guys trying their best (at the producers' urging, no doubt) to convince us of the impending excitement of their trip. Not in a million years did I think I would come to Iceland to find love, said one. I never thought I'd come to Iceland to find love, said another. I think Iceland will be the right place to show her my tattoo, said a third. (Guess who.) Then we learned the two twists of the week: There would be a sudden-death-type two-on-one date, from which only one man would emerge with a rose, and all the guys would have to write Ali poems to compete for the one-on-one date. God help us.

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