'House': Cuddy lays down the law, and House...listens?


The other night on "House," our favorite troubled genius faced a mirror image of his former self in his patient, and may have actually been inspired to be a better person because of it. Emphasis on the "may." And for those of you holding out hope that last week's apparent team set-up of Foreman, Chase, Taub and Thirteen would fall through, my condolences.


Patient of the Week: A supergenius working as a delivery guy "because he wants to" suddenly can't feel his hands and winds up at PPTH, where he explains to the disbelieving team that he simply fell in love with someone who didn't care if he was smart, and that just being happy is easier than putting his geniusness to work. Well yeah, I'd imagine "just being happy" is easier than a lot of things.


He appears to have TTP, but the supposedly curative splenectomy doesn't help, and though they find hidden alcohol at his apartment, his liver looks fine, too. The renal failure, though, leads House to call their patient stupid. Or at least, stupider than he should be, because he's addicted to DXM -- cough syrup. Seriously? I thought that was just for middle schoolers too nervous to raid daddy's liquor cabinet. I'm also very disappointed to learn "robotripping" refers to DXM abuse rather than awesome robot vacations. Taken in high doses, DXM is a "dumb drug." And taken with one drink per day, it lowers IQ without causing brain damage.


"When my brain was on low, everything didn't seem so miserable anymore. Life was bearable." And with that, his poor wife is upset that it wasn't just her making him happier. Man, it's gotta suck to know that even with your husband medicinally lowering his IQ, he's still much smarter than you are. And soon to be infinitely smarter. Patient: "I don't think I can live without it." House: "You'd be surprised what you can live without." And he would know.


And our patient is back to "doodling" about subatomic particles and plasma devices and such in no time. It's almost frightening. He rants to Foreman as soon as his wife leaves the room that at 91 IQ points lower than him, she's closer to a gibbon than she is to him, and having sex with her is like an act of bestiality. Harsh. He recognizes that he's being a jerk, and he wants to want to be with her, but just... can't. And that's why you don't marry someone you fell in love with while high.


He tells House about how he jumped off a building years ago, and got put on painkillers at the hospital which made him feel at peace, rather than isolated and lonely. It's where he fell in love with his wife. Um, yeah, not the best thing for a recovering genius drug addict to be hearing. House actually gives him a bottle of cough syrup before figuring out that in the fall twelve years ago, the patient broke ribs, damaging his spleen and creating... other spleens. All of which need to be removed to cure TTP. Wow. We really came full circle on this one. And so our man keeps up with the robotripping, and keeps his marriage intact. That's pretty messed up.


Huddy: House has decided to break up Cuddy and Lucas, simply so he can have a purpose in life, of course. He sees it as a favor: If they're going to split up anyway, this will just speed things up, which is better for everyone. If they'll be together forever, his meddling will fall on deaf ears (and, um, other parts), or even strengthen their relationship. He chooses Thanksgiving as the scene of his meddling, where happy, old-timey music plays as Cuddy, Lucas and family laugh and have fun. Someplace else. Because House totally got punked, and drove three hours to a housesitter and a turkey sandwich. Man, even though he had evil intentions, that's pretty cold. And it looks like Cuddy feels the guilt, just a little.


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