If ballads are "the perfect storm of self-expression," we had a monsoon tonight on "Glee." And hey, now that the real pregnancy is out in the open, maybe the fake pregnancy is soon to follow? Please? Pretty please?
The Crush: As a new rule, sectionals require each choir to perform a ballad, so Will pairs Glee clubbers off randomly to sing ballads to each other. Rachel draws Will's name out of the hat, and his obvious trepidation increases when she immediately pulls him into an "Endless Love" duet. Yikes. That's wiiildly inappropriate, and even more so when followed by a creepy stalker present: a tie with gold stars, so that "...every time you wear it you can think of me, and the star you're helping me become."
Emma can't really blame Rachel due to Will's "crushworthiness," but tries to help him out by suggesting that he sing his rejection to let Rachel down easy. (Spoiler alert: Our theme this week appears to be "sing your feelings with invariably disastrous results.") Seems Will's last stalker crush, Suzy Pepper (played to hilariously creepy perfection by Sarah Drew), tried to commit suicide by ultra-hot pepper when he confronted her. And I will cite that suicide method every time someone tries to take "Glee" too seriously.
Will chooses a mash-up of "Young Girl" and "Don't Stand So Close to Me," instructing Rachel to really, really listen to the lyrics. The mash-up definitely puts his message out there, but it's lost in translation. Rachel's take: "It means I'm very young, and it's hard for you to stand close to me." Emma's breathless take: "You're a very good performer." Basically, they might as well be throwing their panties at him.
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