'Big Brother 11' Thoughts: Finale Night

After getting to know thirteen strangers in the past months and seeing them all interact in that eco-friendly cage, it has come down to this. I'm not really that excited since we have the Whiny One, the Blonde One, and Kevin as this season's Final Three. But come on, let's all just deal with it so we can move on from this. Season 12 can't come any sooner.

Back to reality, reality TV. Tonight we bear witness to two full hours of Big Brother, and the one thing that can top that is Julie Chen giving birth right in the middle of it all. Then declaring the kid as the winner this season. Or not, but we do wish the very pregnant lady all the best.

Here it is, finale night. I just checked the polls and it looks as though most of you think Jordan deserves to win this season. Let's find out then. Excited yet? Not really.

Wait, I just saw Jim Parsons in a commercial! Yay! Okay, here we go. Hello, Julie Chen (plus baby) and audience cheering for Russell and Braden who we hardly knew. We've already looked back on the game via slideshow - from the cliques which hardly mattered to Russell's betrayal that changed the game. There was Coup D'etat, the shift of power, Operation Bosley and the floaters stepping in. Now, Kevin got his game on and he's going up against Jordan tonight.

Julie Chen reminds me of a Juno quote in that blue outfit - "cautionary whale." Anyway, when she talks about the evicted houseguest, we see Natalie on the screen. Hmm. Kevin still thinks she has friends in the Jury House. Natalie whines again and wants to throw some balls around. Hope they bounce back.

She gets called to the Diary Room and I wonder if BB has some twist planned, like calling her out for supposedly cheating during Part 1 of the HoH comp. But we hear nothing but Kevin giving his word to Jordan - "1000%," he says. Unfortunately for him, Jordo's interview doesn't quite fit the deal.

Kevin's heading for the hammock. If I fall asleep in the middle of this episode (and it looks very likely), then it probably won't make much of a difference. Jordan interviews that she's genuinely taking Natalie to Final Two if she wins HoH. This would screw America because we all just want Natalie out.

Mama Julie tells us that the HGs are going to reunite later in the hour. Does that mean crazy Chima's back? She talks to the Final Three after commercial and it's the "inspirational" part of the show. Like a teacher to pre-schoolers, there's what-did-you-learn, what-will-you-miss, how-this-experience-changed-you. Yeah, yeah. Let's move on to Jury House!

Lydia can't think of a better nickname for Jordan than Blonde Lady, but that's actually enough. Soon Michele walks in and Jessie celebrates, but that was short-lived since he found out his little lapdog got engaged. More and more the jurors are bashing Natalie (and the poor soul who proposed to her), so her chances at votes are definitely slim. "The Wannabe Flavor Flav" slash "Queen of the Trailer Park" (thanks, Tattooed One) now has absolutely no friends in the Jury House. Whew.

Merits of the Final 3 Debate: The Jury's echoing our thoughts and Jeff gets emotional towards Lydia when she mentions Jordan. Of course Jessie sides with Natalie, but Russell compliments Jordan's play by attaching herself to Jeff. It's getting difficult to follow their conversation, but obviously it's Russell who's making the most sense.

He says Natalie "fell into the strategy" by being a loser. Michele calls "dodging the bullet" as Natalie's best move, but the little liar still reminds me of a leech. Jeff makes a mistake of calling Jessie the strongest player, then says "This room doesn't fit your head and we're all outside!" After that, it gets more personal so the votes are difficult to pin down.

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