Recap: Monday, March 9, 2009

Has it been three months already? Season 8 of Dancing with the Stars kicks off with some very interesting renditions of the Viennese waltz and the cha-cha, along with two new (but not-so-new) faces.

No, your eyes are not deceiving you: Mickey is no longer around these Dancing parts, and so, I have inherited his quite large shoes to fill. I know, I'm mourning his absence too, but I hope you'll bear with me. My Dancing background: size 7 shoe, rhythmically challenged, and avid Olympic fan - thus, I only started watching when Apolo Anton Ohno killed it (random side note: I screamed his name when I was drunk a few years ago, but that's a story for another time). Kristi Yamaguchi made me squeal, but Misty May-Treanor made me cry. And so, I'm automatically partial to Shawn Johnson this season (join me in convincing her to go to London 2012), now more than ever with Nancy O'Dell out.

Speaking of, Nancy and Jewel, Season 8's first two casualties (Did I use that correctly, Jewel? Sorry, I don't have my Night Without Armor near to consult) are sporting pouts on the sidelines as we await the first dances of their heretofore unofficially announced replacements. But first - the healthy folks!

Lil Kim & Derek Hough: Cha-Cha

"Black Barbie" Kim tells us about discovering Dancing during her days behind bars and she dedicates her first dance to all the gals at the federal detention center. What up! They cha-cha to "Ms. Jackson" and "Nasty." Anyone else see the irony in Mormon boy getting "Nasty" with an ex-convict? It's fun and sexy, if a little shaky. Tom dedicates his hosting to everyone at Riker's Island. Len thinks it was first-class and a job well done. Bruno says she's nasty but tasty (and you would know?), but Kim needs some precision. Carrie Ann says she has great potential.

Score: 21

Belinda Carlisle & Jonathan Roberts: Viennese Waltz

Belinda told me she was uncomfortable with the waltz and that she was. They kick it off with some pretty spinning... and then it gets not-so pretty. She's a tad slow and tentative, and you can tell she's counting the steps in her head... or maybe just hoping her boobs don't pop out. Did ya see her shaking those things in the clip intro? Bruno says she looks like Julie Andrews, but then turned into Cloris Leachman, which I personally don't think so at all. If she reminded me of anyone, it's Priscilla Presley. Carrie Ann says it wasn't Cloris-esque, but Belinda needs to trust Jonathan. Len says there was grace and elegance. The curmudgeon hasn't reared his ugly head yet.

Score: 17

Lawrence Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska: Cha-Cha

Edyta gets another football giant (no pun intended), and LT wastes no time dissing Jason Taylor. He feels uncoordinated in rehearsal and doesn't wanna look like a fool. He doesn't, but he's no Jason Taylor either (that's a diss) - or any other Dancing football great. Their cha-cha is blah-blah. I'm over it after 15 seconds. Carrie Ann tells him he needs to get on the offense and down and dirty (you're single now, aren't you, CA?). Len says he has a naturalness about him. Bruno says it was very laid-back and LT needs to perform. Duh-duh-dun!

Score: 16

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