'The Amazing Race' Season 16, Episode Recap: Joan of Arc is not that guy who saved all those animals

The Champagne province of northeastern France has seen its share of great battles. Way back in year 451, the Romans, the Visigoths, and the Franks did a superhero team-up to defeat Attila and his Fighting Huns. A thousand years later, France and England fought over Champagne; a century after that, the region saw a knock-down drag-out fight between the Catholics and the Huguenots. On last night's episode of The Amazing Race, Champagne was the setting of still another great conflict: the terrifying battle between Team Newly Dating and Team Dating Models to decide who would be the most blockheaded pair of human beings in the history of traveling.

Okay, I'm being a little bit harsh on Jordan and Jeff. The dearly departed CBS Reality All-Stars never seemed to find any traction on Race, but at least they had a robust sense of humor. When Jordan kept on insisting that Joan of Arc was the man who built a ship for the animals, Jeff softly said, That was Noah, and followed that up with a Jim Halpert-esque wink to us viewers: I wonder why we're in last. Sure, the Big Brother couple had a minor touch of travel ADD. In this episode, we saw them get distracted by some kind of S&M fashion shop, which is probably just the French version of Macy's. But it was the first time that Jordan ever traveled outside of America (and perhaps outside, period). Who can blame them for being a bit overwhelmed?

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