You know, I have to admit: I was nervous when I decided to start recapping Celebrity Apprentice. Sure, I've been recapping Survivor for years, but could I handle the urban jungle as deftly as the island one? Last week went pretty well, I think, and I sure do appreciate all the kind feedback, but I couldn't get past the nagging feeling that there was something missing. Did I forget to harp on the hilarity of Cyndi Lauper dissing Trump's wife? No, I had that in there. Was I negligent in reveling in The Donald giving himself props for having more sexual conquests than "celebrity chef" Curtis Stone? Nope, there was plenty of reveling. So what was my first Celebrity Apprentice recap missing? I know! BALLOONS!!! Red balloons. Yellow balloons. Goldenrod balloons! I need to turn this thing into freakin' Balloonapalozza! And you know why? Because everyone loves balloons. Don't believe me? Just ask my man Rod Blagojevich, who turned this week's task into an invitation to rock a little 5th Dimension and go "up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful balloooooooon." The only way he could have become any more obsessed with balloon related paraphernalia is if he started sucking helium straight from the canister and reciting his whole "I'm innocent of all charges" speech while sounding like one of the Chipmunks.
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