'Deadliest Catch' recap: An emotional goodbye to Capt. Phil Harris

In all my years watching reality TV, I don't know that I've ever seen a moment as real and as achingly beautiful as ailing Phil Harris kissing his hand and putting it to his son Josh's face, then Josh leaning down to kiss his father's forehead. That conversation is something that will stick forever with anyone who saw it. You want to know why fans have been sobbing through the episodes leading up to Phil's death - it's because as much as we thought we related to men who do a job that 99.9 percent of us will never do, we knew they were a breed of their own. When Phil's story went from the Bering Sea to a hospital room, it packed the punch of a hero falling, of a comedian who suddenly starts to cry. And all at once, we really could relate to him and his boys - especially his boys. We all have, or will, watch someone we love die. We'll have things we want to say and be afraid to, because we know that saying the words will make us cry, and seeing us as broken as we feel will only bring our loved one more pain and regret. Capt. Phil insisted the cameras keep filming as he recovered from his stroke, because he believed the story needed an ending. I can't imagine how difficult it was for his boys to watch this episode (Josh told EW yesterday that he'd had an advance copy of for five days and hadn't been able to bring himself to play it), but I have to think that having their final heart-to-hearts with their father on-camera will eventually be of comfort to them. They will never need doubt if their memories of those conversations are accurate. Josh will see that he said everything Phil, a man who worried that he hadn't been a good enough father, needed to hear; Jake will be reminded that his father was

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