Well, all good things must come to an end. Or, all bad things must come to an end. Either way, something is coming to an end here. Since we started covering 'Maury' (weekdays, syndicated) on TV Squad, we've had a perfect, unbroken 100% success rate. Every single episode involved a deadbeat dad who claimed that he was not the father of a woman's child. Then, the dad would take a paternity test -- and every single time, it turned out that the man was the baby's father.
But no more! True, Wendell -- the guest on the latest episode -- seems like the perfect candidate to be a deadbeat dad. He slept with a woman a couple of times, and then she got pregnant. Next, he completely disappeared -- only returning once, on Mother's Day, when he ate all the food in the woman's house, including the baby snacks.
Like every other 'Maury' guest, Wendell says there's no way he could be the father. But then, the results of the paternity test come back, and ... he's actually not the father. Amazing! This has never happened before on 'Maury'! We feel like balloons and streamers should have come down from the ceiling.
On the negative side, Wendell seems a little too excited by this revelation. He screams with joy and repeatedly jumps in the air, shouting "Yeah! I told you! I told you! ... I knew it!" Yes, congrats, Wendell. You now have no obligation to help out a (probably) impoverished single mother and her one-year-old baby. But of course, you already didn't help them out -- even when you didn't know if you were the father or not. What an awesome guy.