While Lynda's cooking up some chili (she's Southern, y'all!), Stacie is cooking up some family drama! Stacie confesses to her girlfriends that her birth mother is white and had a secret relationship (and love child) with a Nigerian man in the Peace Corps. Is ironic the right word? Scandalous? Either way it's very Thomas Jefferson, to tie it back to DC.
Mary is helping with Ted Gibson's new salon opening in Washington DC, and Michaele will pretend to host it but not pay for anything. I wrote that as a joke, but it's actually true. Mary is determined to prove that DC is not "Hollywood for ugly people." All the Housewives arrive for the salon opening and even Lynda and Michaele make nice. We learn from Mary that to "make it" in DC you need to demonstrate integrity and decorum. We also learned that Cat hates social climbers.
Michaele invites all the Housewives to a grape stomp. Like an old-fashioned I Love Lucy grape stomp. Lynda declines as passive-aggressively as possible. Everyone else obliged. It's time to see this famous vineyard. Insert pun about "sour grapes" here.
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