'Jersey Shore': From sweetheart to trash bag overnight - Episode 3

Saying "Jersey Shore" is a hot mess doesn't cut it. You have to make up a new kind of mess for this show. This week, we're down one "guidette," another one is newly single, and yet another may soon be.

This week's episode begins with everyone hung over from the night before. You know, from all that stuff that went down in the (way too long) two-hour season premiere. Jenni (J-WOWW) claims she doesn't remember that she hooked up with Pauly. I guess she also doesn't remember running out of the club with his sweaty tank top, either. According to Pauly, she didn't want to come off like a "trash bag." Um, well, when you put it that way, I don't blame her. Mike (The Situation) can't get over Sammi (Sweetheart) trading him in for Ronnie, the younger, more pumped "guido." You know you're at the Jersey Shore when Nicole, who goes by Snooki, comes off the most well behaved.

The gang decides that things in the house aren't tragic enough, so they decide to go clubbing again. This time Angelina's friends, Alana and Elena, join them. I'm unsure of the naming customs for "guidettes," but ending with a "na" seems like a popular one. Mike, Angelina's boyfriend, also comes down. It seems their relationship has become strained from being apart. The fact that he's married doesn't seem to factor in at all, though. Go figure. Then out of nowhere, Angelina and Mike are dropping F-bombs and somewhere in between them, they break up.

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