What was the big deal with being a surrogate?

I decided to give Army Wives a go as an off-season filler, and I was wondering if they ever get around to explaining what the big deal was with the surrogacy. Whey did Pamela cover it with a lie that the babies died? Why couldn't she just tell everyone that she was a surrogate?



Default avatar cat
Jun 8, 2009 7:51PM EDT

Well, it mostly had to do with saving face for her husband in the military culture--which can be very strict in its expectations and ideas about what is appropriate or not. To say she was a surrogate would be exposing to everyone that she is doing that for money and that would embarrass her husband (and who knows maybe affect his career in a negative way???). The serious is about how these women who are independent and free thinking make it in the highly regimented military world that is often very separated by class. It is interesting that these women who develope friendships are from different 'classes' within the military---a wealthy general's wife with teenage daughters, a middle class major's wife with a teenage son, Pamela with her husband who does secret missions and has young children and Roxy who has just married into this world to an enlisted soldier and has two small boys. Add to that the man who is married to a female officer and you have a lot of personalities testing the limitations of that culture, but who are still devoted to it and their country.
Also, Charleston is in South Carolina, USA. It is one of the larger cities in South Carolina, but is still a small city by most scales and is in the heart of the South. I am from SC and, unfortunately, minds are not always as open there as other places (of course that does not mean EVERYONE is narrowminded, but it is a small city in the South of the USA and that has it's own class system, gossip, etc. Appearances becoming important in the culture)
Combine the military life with small, South Carolina life and you might get a woman who doesnt want people to know she has money problems so badly she carried someone else's children.
sorry for the longwinded opinion...

Large good to be queen
Jun 8, 2009 9:37PM EDT

Thank you for that complete reply. I just couldn't, from my culture, understand what the big deal was in hiding an honourable decision to help a family who could not have children by themselves. Her monitary issues did not have to be made public, if they put that positive spin on it, I felt. I understand a bit more now why that would not be possible in the culture in which the show is set.

Default avatar cat
Jun 9, 2009 1:19PM EDT

Yeah :) Often these cultural things do not reflect logic--they are stuck in old thinking. I think it's good that the show tries to push these boundaries, yet show how those who push them can still be devoted to the world that has these limitations. These women are not limited by those ways of thinking, but still value the world they come from.

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