'American Idol' recap: 10 Mileys of Bad Road

I've never quite understood the inherent sadism of American Idol's summer tour policy. Every year the show names 12 (or last year, 13) finalists, but only makes room on the sightseeing bus for 10 of 'em.

Okay, yeah, so last season's Kradison Festival of Awesome wouldn't have benefited much from the vocal stylings of Jasmine Murray or Jorge Nunez (although Alexis Grace is quite another matter...hmph!), but as Simon pointed out tonight, finishing 11th on Idol is akin to getting five out of six lottery numbers: It's the worst night to go home.

Yet as devastating as Wednesday night's vote tally is going to be for Paige Miles, Tim Urban, Katie Stevens, or Andrew Garcia, the news is much, much grimmer for us members of the Idoloonie nation. Chew on this like a smoker's piece of Nicorette: Three out of the four contestants mentioned above will be singing for our pleasure at North American concert venues from June to September. (I'm betting Idol creator Simon Fuller will forbid any stops in Canada or Europe - just to ensure he's not shipped off to the Hague to stand trial for international war crimes.) And even if Colored Contacts, Bieber-Hair Boy, Multiple Personality Robo-Barbie, and Acoustic Straight Up get booted in the most rapid-fire succession possible, one of 'em is going to be sticking around on the Idol stage till at least April 14. Gah!

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