'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: California Preenin'

Did your face hurt after watching? Poor Taylor, probably a lovely woman underneath that Beverly Hills mask, with skin stretched like a balloon and those odd lips just begging for a release of some kind. Then she trusted Adrienne's husband to inject what looked like swollen olives under her skin. Anything to keep her disturbingly aloof venture capitalist husband from leaving her for a 20-year-old. So what's the latest with your little company? he deigned to inquire over dinner. Oh honey, I say leave him.

Okay, a quick rundown of these West Coast broads, each of whom would eat my beloved Vicki Gunvalson on a slab of raw tuna for lunch. (Except for maybe Kim, who would just stare moodily off to the side while Vicki yapped at her about insurance quotes.) Taylor still has some Oklahoma running through her, which might explain why she seemed the most authentic of the group. As discussed, her husband struck me as kind of a creep, but she seemed to have a sense of humor about herself and the cuckoos she calls friends.

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