'Bachelor Pad' - 'Hairman Strikes Back' (Series Premiere) Recap

Just when you thought Monday nights were safe again, ABC goes and thwarts all of our aspirations to sensible primetime viewing with 'Bachelor Pad', which, to borrow 'Glee' parlance, looks like a crazy mash-up of 'The Bachelor' and 'Big Brother,' resulting in one bitchy, backstabbing, bikini-clad battle to win $250,000.

Nineteen of the craziest and most masochistic 'Bachelor' and 'Bachelorette' alums have gathered together for a three-week, six-episode, intensive contest where roses will be handed out, boys will vote out girls and girls will vote out boys. There will be tears, tantrums and shocking twists, not to mention a slew of scandalous hook-ups. Ready for the trainwreck to leave the station? Join me after the jump to discuss this episode's highlights.

For those of us who've only been on 'The Bachelor' bandwagon for a couple of years, there are plenty of rejects from Ali and Jake's seasons to provide some familiarity. But poor, surgically enhanced Gwen is apparently an alum from as far back as season two.

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