Two and a Half Men Season 7, Episode 7: "Untainted by Filth" - Recap

In this week's Two and a Half Men, Charlie and Chelsea get a little closer to walking down the aisle, but it's the closeness between the brothers that's the real story.

Through a stroke of good luck, or rather good connections, Chelsea and Charlie are given the chance to have their wedding at the Bel-Air Hotel. Evelyn even offers to pay for the shindig, which rightfully upsets Alan that his mom would offer to pay for Charlie's wedding when he only got a dinette set (his argument: Charlie's marriage is just as likely to fail as his was). Charlie obviously is in no hurry to set a date, because he gives all sorts of excuses to get out of it - even bringing up something about killer swans. After some coaxing, Chelsea finally gets Charlie to commit to the date and runs off to make the all-important calls to family and friends. Alan can't pass up the chance to rib Charlie about it being the end of an era and his good run being over...forever. Things won't change too much, Charlie argues. He'll still be in the same house, with the same woman. Yes, he will...forever. While the idea of a June wedding at the Bel-Air sends Chelsea over the moon (as it should), it sends Charlie out for a drink (as it would).

Alan joins Charlie for the trip to the bar, not for the company but so that he can continue to taunt him some more. Now that Alan doesn't have competition trying to get women, and feeling a little adventurous in his new-found role as the bachelor brother, he tries to hit on a woman - but fails miserably. Charlie jumps in to save his dignity, telling the woman that Alan has his own plane so that he can help children around the world. Betsy (the aforementioned "hitee") tells Alan he is amazing, while Alan thinks Charlie is amazing. It's a nice, fun moment.

Cut to Alan waking up next to Betsy. He's all smiles as he wraps his arm around her. Unfortunately, the smile quickly fades when he notices Charlie on the other side of her. It seems that there are some key points missing. How did they get there? Why were they both in bed with her? How did they end up in each other's underwear? The good news is they're not in Idaho (no mountains, no snow). The bad news is that, save for a few hilarious and disturbing flashbacks (including Betsy riding on Alan's back like she's in a rodeo and Alan singing the JFK version of "Happy Birthday" dressed as Marilyn Monroe), they can't remember a thing.

The guys eventually make it home (still in each other's underwear) and Charlie tries to quietly sneak into the bedroom without bothering Chelsea. No such luck as his clamoring in the bathroom wakes her up. In a non-judgmental and non-suspicious way, she asks about his night (has settling on a date mellowed her out a bit?). Of course, Charlie makes no mention of the night's escapades. As Chelsea drifts off to sleep she vows to make a great wife, while Charlie vows to cut down on his drinking.

The next morning, Charlie jumps in with both feet to help with the wedding plans. Chelsea thinks it's sweet, but Evelyn is immediately suspicious and questions his motives. He swears he didn't do anything wrong, but "Mommy isn't buying it." He eventually tells her that he had some sort of escapade that he feels guilty about and she advises him not to tell Chelsea. It turns out that Ms. Evelyn has a story of her own about an extramarital fling with some circus performers. Thankfully, as she's telling the story, Charlie zones out so the details of her escapade are left to the imagination. Later that night, Charlie comes close to fessing up about his misdeeds. Instead, he relays to Chelsea the story his mother told him. Chelsea imagines stilt-walkers, jugglers, and a bearded lady (among others) walking out of Evelyn's motel room. It's hard to tell whose story would have been more disturbing.

There were many great things about this episode, such as the conversation between Chelsea and Jake about the bridesmaids. It's nice to see that Jake has a type - he doesn't want them to be stupid, but doesn't want one that talks down to him, either. Oh, and she needs a little "junk in the trunk." His comments, and the fact that he was watching porn when Chelsea walked in, remind us that the show has already outgrown its name. And even though there was a lot of nitpicking between the guys, the jokes were fresh and the delivery was believable - especially the scene where Alan starts crying in bed because he doesn't know where he is.

What did you think of the episode? Were you disappointed that they never revealed what happened that night, or did the flashbacks give you enough of an idea (for better or for worse)? Should Charlie have told Chelsea about the escapades, or would that have been the end of them? And are you ready for a June 26th wedding, or did you expect them to just be engaged for...wait for it...ever?!!

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