"Use the blog, Hank, channel your rage." Well, hear hear. I'd like to say that like Hank I'm blogging right now from a sample machine at an Apple store - and the whole while laughing uproariously at my own jokes - but alas, no Hank Moody am I. Also, my laptop is working just fine, thank you.
I confirmed my secret fears that Californication is merely a male version of Sex and the City - a fantasy land in which there's an endless supply of readily available partners (i.e., 16-year-olds at dinner tables, 40-year-olds at dinner tables, porn stars at stoplights). The similarities seemed especially salient as Hank was writing his blog, which closed ÃÂ la Carrie with a pointed question about modern social mores in a specific American city: "Why is the City of Angels so hell-bent on destroying its female population?" Of course, Sex is very much an ensemble buddy comedy, whereas Hank, while hardly friendless, seems to be hanging out on a limb by himself at this point in his life. That said, our Hank made some good observations this evening, and along the way proved that he was the furthest thing possible from a heartless womanizer.
Not one but two ladies stripped to the raw tonight specifically to ask for Hank's opinion, and though no two women could be more different, Hank had respectful, kind things to say to both of them. So now we know: Despite his numerous dalliances with the L.A. robot type, Hank actually prefers real breasts and hair and stuff like that. "Flappy"? Good god let's just never speak of that again, OK? But his "back tat is the watermark of the promiscuous" line was total genius, as was his "I think I just lost my manhood - and got hungry at the same time." However crusty and curmudgeonly he may be on the outside, it's clear that on the inside Hank is as soft as a kitten. An all-too-common psychological defense mechanism, Hank - nice try but now we know the truth, and that's why the chicks dig him. His "flappy" porn girl giggled warmly when he disarmingly urged her to care for her child instead of his inner child, and his Scientologist lady friend also appreciated the good heart that lives inside grumpy old Hank. As I've said before, Hank's got charm to spare, and it's not just used for evil. It often is, but not always.
Speaking of Scientology, I was surprised and impressed that the writers brought up that subject so early in the show's run. It's strange that the posters for Hank's movie simply credit "Tom" and "Katie." What, no last names necessary? No rights acquired? Too scared to use the full names, writers? Whatever the case may be, these people aren't too scared to pick on Scientology itself: I cite Hank's "Aside from the fact that you worship an alien, you just might be the most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time." And while I'm on the subject of good lines, I'd like to throw some props Marcy's way. She kinda stole my heart tonight with her Art Garfunkel/hippie-bush line, and with her brilliant delivery when she asked Karen how the sex with Bill was. I hope we see a lot more of her, 'cause she's got the funny.