The Real Housewives Of Orange County: Shane Is Son Of The Year

This is Jeana's son Shane without his shirt on. This is the only way Shane should go through life: topless with his mouth closed. Because when he opens his mouth, his hotness melts into a giant puddle of chunky diarrhea full of corn bits.

On last night's The Really Plastic Housewives of Orange County, Jeana and Vicki traveled to Illinois to watch Grouchy McPoopypants play minor league baseball. While they were driving to the game, Shane texted Jeana to not come because he wasn't playing. Well, his exact words were: "Stay the fuck away from here." Instead of playing minor league baseball, he was clearly playing a game of major league douchebaggery.

Jeana showed up anyway and Shane greeted his lovely mother by saying, "Get the fuck away from me!" Surprisingly, Jeana didn't respond to that by throwing him up in the air and using a bat to hit him out of the field Nope. She just shrugged and said, "That's kids!"

Shane's bid for a VIP spot on the short bus to hell continued later on at the restaurant. Shane and his other brother Colt kept verbally punching their mother in the bagina bone in front of everyone. Let's see, he said he wanted to hit her with a bat and also said he can't wait to pull the plug on her so he can have more money. Vicki and I were making the same faces as the rusty daggers flew out of Shane's mouth and into Jeana's heart.

Instead of threatening to hit his mom with a bat, Shane should shut his caca mouth and hit my no-no with his skin bat. Seriously. But you know, even I wouldn't touch that shit now. My peendar says he's got a soggy french fry dick and he's compensating for it by acting like a mega dick bag to his mom. Okay, I'm lying. I'd still hit it, but I'd call him a "really bad person" while he was tapping it from the back.

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Jun 26, 2009 5:06AM EDT

Maxgt, omg your review was so funny! I howled! Do you have a blog? I totally want to read more of what you write! So colorful and of course right on!
And I completly agree! This guy may just kill someone someday. Many years of therapy are indicated. It says volumes about their mother-son relationship. I mean if he can't get his mom's attention by saying he wants to club her with a bat, I don't know what he can do... other than to actually do it. Good lord.
And I can't believe what a soggy blanket Jeana is to put up with all of that shit. It takes a numb, spaced-out, in denial woman to stay with an abusive husband for all those years and to allow her son to grow up a mirror image of him. I'm not impressed with her, money or not; they're both Losers. They BOTH need serious, serious HELP. And FAST!

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