A lot of people watched last night's Lake Placid 3, the Syfy channel's latest new junk horror film, as a Saturday night time-waster and good excuse to make derisive jokes. It featured one of Syfy's signature stars, Colin Ferguson from Eureka, as a zoologist who makes the mistake of bringing his family to a lake infested with chomping crocodiles.
LP3 followed the standard pattern for movies like this. Four minutes into the film, a swimming couple is dragged down into lake as the water around them turns crimson with their blood. Fifteen minutes in, gators come up onto solid land after a little boy foolishly feeds them meat. After 21 minutes, you got your grisly moose-head-decapitated-by-monster-animals shot. And before the first half-hour had gone by, a cute little doggy had been thoroughly chewed over.