Recap: "The Story of Lucy and Jessie"

This week on Desperate Housewives, Susan's boss taught her a lezzin', Lynette "went to work" for Gaby, Bree did her best to cover Orson's tracks, and Edie dug up some (but not quite enough) dirt on Dave. I'm Matt Mitovich, your guestcapper.

Will Susan Be Jessie's Girl?

Susan's making a go of it in her job as an art teacher's assistant at MJ's private school, trying to be "creative" in her lesson plans. Alas, her boss (guest star Swoosie Kurtz) is not impressed by her "crayons-on" approach. Parents spend $22K to send their kids here, Jessie explains, so the kids need to come home with "adorable" things Dad can put on his desk. After a blunt warning from one of the kids about her short-lived predecessor, Susan decides she needs to make Jessie warm up to her.

Oh, and warm up she does. Invited over for drinks, Susan manages to give Jessie the wrong impression, talking of how Mike made her "swear off men," and raving about Jessie's (admittedly impressive, you go, Swoosie!) non-schoolmarm figure. Much, much wine later, the ladies call it a night, at which point Jessie kisses Susan at the door.

A most amusing scene follows where Susan asks Lynette, Lee and Gaby for their take on her "date." "Was it an old-fashioned American kiss, or the far superior French kind?" Lynette asks. Finally, Gaby plants two varying degrees of kisses on Susan to confirm which kind she got, and I'm just glad the writers didn't have Lee spout some sort of, "That nearly turned me straight!" line. Because there is something to be said for Eva Longoria kissing Teri Hatcher.

Ultimately, Susan tells Jessie's she doesn't swing that way, this despite her choice in combat boots. Jessie questions Susan on her preference - in front of their students - in a funny metaphorical comparison of beautiful gazelles versus sweaty rhinos. "I like rhinos, too," one boy remarks. "We know," says Jessie. "We've seen you play hopscotch at recess." Jessie later pities herself for feeling so alone that she's throwing herself at straight women. Susan makes her feel better by noting what they have in common, and stressing the importance of friendships. As the scene ends, I want Jessie to move to Wisteria Lane and be a new regular.

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