Previously on One Tree Hill: Julian left, Nick Lachey wouldn't stay out of it, an NBA scout checked out Nathan, Skills got to first base with Miss Lauren and Lucas agreed to have a quickie wedding with Peyton in case she dies during childbirth.
It's wedding day! Lucas isn't so freaked out because Haley did the marriage and pregnancy before graduation instead of after, so this should be a piece of cake. The minister drops out, but luckily Lucas can ordain Haley on his cell phone in 30 seconds.
Brooke helps Peyton get ready, which brings on the water works. Peyton makes Brooke promise that she'll take care of Lucas if anything happens to her. Wow, last week Peyton told her unborn baby to take care of Lucas and now she wants Brooke to do it. Peyton must think that Lucas is just one tragedy away from a total psychotic breakdown.
Brooke then drops off a Hugo Boss tuxedo for Lucas, and Lucas has something for her - a date. He brings out Julian and Brooke is happy until she learns that Julian brought a plus one in the form of Missy, the actress who was cast as Brooke Davis in An Unkindness of Ravens.
She goes straight for Peyton to rant and rave about the whore who stole her man. The other women think she's talking about Peyton and Lucas, and when she reveals the truth about Julian's surprise visit, Peyton and Haley couldn't care less.
Nathan gets bad news on this happy day when he gets a call saying Nino was recruited by the scout and he was passed over.
Chase and Mia share some cute wedding banter about how good he looks in a suit and the possibility of them having slutty wedding day sex. I'm thinking about starting a petition to make Chase and Mia the new leads of One Tree Hill next season. Would anyone else support that?
Since Jamie was kidnaped by a crazy nanny the last time Lucas got married, Skills is extra cautious, hooking the kid up to a leash. Mouth, who was given the role of videographer so he'd have something to do, thinks Skills and Miss Lauren are preparing for some slutty wedding sex of their own.
Is slutty wedding sex a real thing, because if so, I need to start going to more weddings. Proving that Jamie is the smartest character on this show, he gives Skills the slip by attaching the leash to a nearby dog.