'Hell's Kitchen' recap: The drama club

Tonight's Hell's Kitchen served up a hearty plate of drama, and yet I was left hungry and unsatisfied (luckily I always have chocolate on hand). The blowups, arguments, and surprises were abundant, but the show sometimes felt more staged than my elementary school Care Bears play. To give credit where credit is due, however, the phoniness this week was nowhere near as transparent as last week's J.P./Fransisco debacle. And there were a few genuine surprises (J.!) and some hurl-your-remote-through-your-TV moments.

To kick off the challenge, Ramsay presented the chefs with a selection of tapas-style meals. Tapas-style cooking would be the theme for the dinner service, and for the first challenge the chefs were each required to make their own dish using only leftovers. To even out the teams, Ramsay moved Giovanni over to the red team, which proved beneficial to the ladies. The drama began immediately, courtesy of Lacey (surprise!), when she started her trademark whining. Robert complained about her to the camera, calling her a "fat bitch." It seems that over the past few weeks they have been embroiled in a contest to see who can call the other one "fat" the most. Riveting stuff, isn't it?

Aside from a few little tidbits (Carol thought she'd cooked her dish in soy sauce only to be informed by Ramsay that it was actually balsamic; Ramsay told J. that his dish looked "slightly phallic"), the chefs' presentation of their dishes was largely uneventful. Gio sealed the victory for the women with his dish, but not before breaking for commercial during a tie with Ramsay torn between Gio's and Ben's dishes. In the words of Oscar Wilde "The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last." Or not. (And yes, I know that Willy Wonka used that line too, but jerk stole it from Wilde. Word.)

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