America's Next Top Model' Season 14, Episode 7 Recap: Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen

This season of Top Model has been a drag to say the least, so I thought maybe last night's jaunt to a drag club would liven things up. You know, with wordplay! But my hopes were predictably dashed - this episode was a bore from top to bottom. Not even butt-ugly dresses by Whitney Port could bring some brightness to the endeavor. Bring on the hair. Shudder.

We weren't even a full 10 seconds into the episode before Angelea referred to her fellow contestants as 'bitches.' This makes me crazy. Look, some of them are bitches, but using the word as just the generic term for women? It's irritating, not to mention degrading. Lecture over.

Whitney Port, Pat Cleveland (who I'd hoped we'd see again!), and Pat Cleveland's out-of-control eyelashes came by the loft and told the bitches (see?) that they'd be going to a party. Pat decided to help the girls by asking them one or two questions each and then vaguely praising them for 'being themselves.' That was not the modeling guidance these ladies needed, Pat! They are all puh-lenty of themselves. Jessica bragged that she felt classy and elegant in what had to be the least classy or elegant dress of all time. That sound you hear is the ghost of Princess Diana, weeping.

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