'The Real Housewives of D.C.' recap: Tareq is a punk (but you knew that)


Uh oh, we're back to the biometric lock on Mary's closet. I think we can all agree that the latest franchise in the Real Housewives universe has struggled all season long to catch a rhythm. It's not in the end that these people are unlikable. I've come to think that Miss Mary is actually kind of a doll. She's warm and well-intentioned and I like ogling her kitchen and her husband's pretty hair. All of which would make her an interesting one-off client on an HGTV show. Instead she's the heart of this Bravo series, with little source of tension. We learned in the first episode that her oldest daughter likes to borrow Mommy's nice clothes. So, ha ha, the eccentric rich woman put a fingerprint lock on her closet door. It's a throwaway detail, and one the Bravo producers pounced on as an indicator of deeper issues. But really, Mary just doesn't want Lolly to get any sauce stains on her cashmere. We get it. And yet, without anything else to talk about, much of this episode revisited the dang lock, and Mary's love for her pretty things, and her hand-wringing over Lolly's disrespect for biometric boundaries. I think Rich spoke for the audience when he zoned out while Mary was talking. You have a damn lock. Use it. Then he told his wife there was something better on TV than listening to this damn conversation yet again.


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