Bachelor Pad Smells Like Teen Spirit

Oh my god, did you hear what Tenley said about Elizabeth? She like, totally, called her out for doing "it" with Kovacs in the shower. I know, right?!

Wow, what a crowd of overgrown high schoolers. Using language like "the outsiders," "the cool kids" and the ever popular "clique," the remaining Bachelor Pad dwellers devolved into vicious, unruly teens last night as they jockeyed for social supremacy within the house. It was like that Wild Kingdom scene in Mean Girls, only with giant fake breasts, oddly hairless, overworked torsos and Chris Harrison as the befuddled principal. And the alliances? So confusing! ABC should be providing us with a scorecard to keep track of who's screwing - and screwing over - whom around here. Jessie S. is hot tub smooth-talking David. Natalie is lying about her hookups to tattooed Jesse B. Recovering pushover Gia is bullying everyone. And nobody is to be trusted.

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