The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Cover girl

I spent much of last night’s episode wanting to reach through the TV and either jostle young Christine, Danielle’s older daughter who may well be the next Christie Brinkley, out of her stupor or pull her close and tell her Mommy’s gone now, everything is going to be fine. It was a strange hour of television, less silly and confrontational than the season premiere and yet there was Gilles Bensimon kissing Danielle’s hand and some hotshot from IMG Models telling Christine she was going to be a star. What show am I watching? Back in Jersey, a food fight broke out in the Manzo kitchen, with the three grown kids flinging wet cold cuts at each other, the camera zooming in dramatically when a piece of meat clung to a shelf. It should be noted that the ham game got a full-length scene while a scene of the inner Housewives circle laughing around the kitchen table over Teresa’s - oh God, let’s not ever speak of this again - “puffy chucky” and Joe’s enormous sex drive was relegated to one of those sad little vignettes shoved between commercials.

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