'America's Next Top Model' recap: Shake and fake Season 14, Episode 5

This week's Top Model boasted a lingerie-clad romp, awkward sexual conversations with Nigel, and a bullshizz PSA about knock-offs - but for an episode that decried fakes in the fashion industry 'Smile and Pose' hardly sparkled with authenticity. Instead, we got the same one character trait from everyone - sourness, competitiveness, absent-eyed gum-chewing. Time to put a little meat on these bones, Top Model!

For the first time I can remember, we see the contestants' stack of mail, which totally looks like it's been opened and rifled through, prison-style. I hope they all sing the 'mail time' song from Blues Clues when it comes, because that's what I would do. Also, that would have made this episode interesting. When it comes I want to wail: maaaaail!

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