It was all about teamwork on Dancing with the Stars this week. The remaining seven couples faced off in team dances - Team Tango vs. Team Paso Doble - for extra points on top of their main dances. Which team prevailed? Find out below!
After a pro number to "show us what teamwork is" (aka "we need to do something to fill up two hours since we don't have that Bob Saget show to plug in at 9:30"), everyone finally makes their way down the stairs and we see all the sartorial skills of the stars as they designed the costumes this week. Some of them are lovely, some are questionable and some are just... fringe. Seriously. Kelly has given Louis a blue version of Julianne's Koosh ball fringe pants and they are made of awesome.
Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova: Foxtrot
Anna wants Mike to think of Broadway for the foxtrot, but he doesn't think anyone's ever mistaken him for Fred Astaire. First things first, Mike went with eggplant for their costumes, and while Anna's looking hot, the prune-y shoes on Mike need to be blacklisted. As for the dance, it's actually pretty decent. For someone with no grace just three weeks ago, Mike's got loads of it here and is gliding through the movements well. This is probably his best dance yet. I had him on the outs this week, but if he gets good scores here, which it seems like he will, can he actually stick around? Len is glad he hung around because it was "brilliant." Bruno loves his improvement in musiciality, but wants him to keep his bum in check. Carrie Ann loves it all, including the costumes.
Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson: Quickstep
Donny's having trouble with the steps because there are too many similar ones in succession, but Kym's more worried about his posture, so she whips out the posture bar. Donny's posture is pretty steady and he's not having as much trouble keeping pace here as he did in the jitterbug. That's probably because he's always in hold with Kym, who's apparently wearing a shredded curtain from Goldmember's lair. The quick footwork doesn't trip Donny up, but he has trouble with some of the turns. Still, you can hardly pick them out since he's working it like the rent is due here. Bruno says no one else could cover up mistakes as well as he did. Carrie Ann loves his light feet, but points out the boo-boos. Len loves that he went for it, which means, as he points out, you're at risk for mistakes.
Mark Dacascos and Anna Trebunskaya: Samba
Lacey came down with the flu on Thursday night, so Tony stepped in Friday to help Mark for a bit in New York before Anna subbed in for good on Saturday when he returned to Los Angeles - throwing at Mark a whole new routine. For a two-day routine, this is OK, weird, but OK. But when you realize Maks and Joanna also had two days to do a completely new dance and nearly knocked it out of the park, this is underwhelming. Actually, I'm not really sure what it is. What's with the spastic pounding on the floor? The samba rolls were weak and they never seem together. Mark is still giving it all he's got and throws in a bunch of tricks, but it needs a lot of refinement. Tough luck since he and Lacey have been on the rise the last couple of weeks. Carrie Ann says it was a mess. Len doesn't find it terrible, but thinks he coped well under the circumstances. Bruno says it was like Kung Fu Panda doing the samba in Planet of the Apes. For once, I totally get it. But that's probably because Kung Fu Panda's on HBO right now.
Mya and Dmitry Chaplin: Foxtrot
Mya's glad she's finally got another ballroom dance (her first since Week 1). Dmitry tells her it's all old glamour, so in comes Cloris Leachman to regale them about meeting Fred Astaire back in the day. Maybe it was due to Cloris, but Mya's got her groove back. Combined with the glamorous old Hollywood costumes (though I seriously want to reach through the screen and tuck Dmitry's tie in), the routine is elegant, fluid and graceful. All of their movements flow together; there's no disjointedness. Plus, Mya actually looks like she's enjoying herself for once. However, I still feel zero chemistry between her and Dmitry, who's looking like Gilles Marini from a distance with the slicked-back 'do. Len loves the parts that were in hold, but thinks there were too many gimmicks. Bruno says the routine perfectly captures Hollywood's golden age. Carrie Ann says Len is smoking crack and loves the dance.
Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff: Jive
Karina takes Aaron to Elite Athletics to work on his footwork. Dude should just do Dance Dance Revolution. I can barely get through Lite on that thing. Karina wasn't kidding when she said this jive is faster than a regular one because it is - like 16 times faster. I need some decaf after this. But the whole thing is pretty damn fantastic. Aaron, Gumby legs and all, are flicking and kicking like crazy and his steps are lightning fast, but precise. He's in sync with Karina and the routine is as energized as the day is long (actually... the day is not that long anymore since we "fell back," but you know). Bruno says something about a warped ride through the galaxy and beyond. Carrie Ann calls him a roadrunner, but calls it the perfect dance except for one weird thing in the middle. "We call that Len," Tom quips. Len says there was enough energy to light up Hollywood and says he was tempted to dust off his 10 paddle (he does).
Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Amstel: Salsa
"Fight" of the week, guys! Louis wants Kelly, who's still smarting from Bruno's "beige" remark last week, to step it up, but Kelly's struggling with his new hardcore approach. Kelly, as Tom points out, seeks revenge with Louis' koosh ball pants. He looks like he's missing the top half of his Cookie Monster outfit. But unfortunately for us all, he whips them off mid-dance. Kelly is showing no signs of her meltdown. She's in step and is actually attacking the dance for once, but it's still not with enough abandon that would make it a total wow. It's a major improvement from last week's snoozefest. Carrie Ann calls it brilliant and says she was "unafraid" of the dance. Len gives her a standing O, but says Louis is right to push her because she needs to kick it up a notch. Bruno steals the fringed pants and shakes what his mama gave him on the judges' table. Kelly thanks him for calling her "beige."
Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough: Rumba
Derek wants Joanna to leave her engagement ring outside because it's just him and her. Joanna can't see it. I don't blame her. His pseudo Latin lovah talk is killing the mood for me and there's no one else in the room. Derek, though, can picture it. And thus we see his torrid fantasy, in which he feeds Joanna strawberries on the beach and he's manlier than Maks. As nauseating as this is, it's not as vomit-ocious as Chuck and Julianne's "It feels so good to be your man" date from last season. The chemistry isn't off the charts here, but there's still some taut tension between them. Joanna's being very patient with the choreography and her lines are still pretty, but the slow pace is causing her to be jerky. Then she slips up on an extension toward the end. And, um, where the hell is the hip movement? Len loves it (Joanna and Derek are clearly his anti-Mya and Dmitry.) Bruno calls her a love goddess, a high-definition feast for the eyes, but points out the stumble. Carrie Ann loves that she dances on her edge. You mean, you like waiting for her to make a mistake? Joanna obviously can do no wrong in their book.
The team captains are Joanna and Aaron, who had the two highest scores of last week. They each choose their teams. The collective score will be added onto everyone's individual score.
Team Paso Doble: Aaron and Karina; Mya and Dmitry; Mark and Anna; Michael and Anna
Everyone decides Aaron will kick it off, Michael will go second, Mark will go third and Mya, aka "Miss Perfect," will close it out. After a bunch of squabbles about too many chefs being in the kitchen, Michael pulls everyone together for rehearsal. They start off in a circular formation before Aaron and Karina break off. Aaron, who apparently has darkened his wannabe 'stache, and Karina have got the intensity down. Michael follows and seems to be walking the whole time. Did he forget his lucky nickel? Mark follows and looks rock solid. Mya and Dmitry, who's still channeling Gilles, close with the most complex choreography. Everyone regroups for the finish, but fall out of sync at random parts, which is blatantly obvious. Bruno says Mya and Dmitry stood out and notes that they got out of sync. Carrie Ann loves the intensity and thinks Mark redeemed himself. Len thinks the routine got better and better as it went along.
Team Tango: Joanna and Derek; Donny and Kym; Kelly and Louis
As Derek told me, it's better to have fewer couples because the margin of error is less. Or, as Louis points out, there are fewer egos. The pros choreographed the dance before teaching it to their stars. They decide to go with the order of Kelly, Donny and Joanna. Another element: Kelly and Joanna will attack Donny. The attacking is more like 10-second pawing, but I never thought I'd see an Osbourne grabbing an Osmond. Kelly nails her segment, a welcome improvement from her second-week tango choke. Donny follows with a dynamic routine. Derek puts the spin cycle on Joanna, who shows off some crisp moves. They come together for the spunky finale, full of sharp turns, kicks and spins. Everyone's tight, cohesive and in sync. Needless to say, they're blowing Team Paso out of the water. Carrie Ann runs up to them to spank the boys' booties, but calls them out on a lift. Of course she does. Len says it's easier to dance tango because you're in hold, but this was a superior dance. Bruno calls Joanna a love goddess, Donny "Donny Darko" and tells Kelly she's found her mojo.
That leaves Joanna and Derek out in front with 55 and Mark and Anna not Michael and Anna for once - in last place with 43.