Bad Hair, Not Spectacular

What the follicle?

Have you heard of Hair Battle Spectacular? Well, count your blessings if you haven't because this showdown between extreme stylists is cheaper than a $2 weave and just as busted.

Seriously, it's not even good bad, you know? Taking the best parts of Shear Genius and tangling it up with low-end production values, lame challenges and trashy contestants, the whole thing ends with the stylists pitting their elaborate hair sculptures against one another during a "Glam Slam" set in a boxing ring. Not. Even. Lying.

Last night, the remaining competitors - who boast insipid, Flavor of Love-caliber names like Minista, Sexi Lexi and Fingaz - were tasked with designing gothic looks inspired by everyone's favorite played-out trend: Vampires. Unfortunately, the end results were more suck than bite. Barely stable up-dos shaped like coffins. Shellacked batwing monstrosities. And worst of all, a deadly lack of sophistication that undid the few inventive ideas of the bunch. Even D-list drag queens would bristle at these hair don'ts. It's all just big hats and Styrofoam shapes covered in clip-on extensions and spray paint.

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