Dancing With the Stars' Episode 9 Recap: Tony and Kate plus fate As Mama Gosselin walks on by

On the Week 5 results show of Dancing With the Stars season 10, Kate Gosselin was beamed from Planet Mirrorballus back to a world in which an abundance of pastel, sequins, and '80s fashions are an aberration instead of the encouraged norm. A nation gasps, but does not quite weep. I can't decide which makes me more perplexed - that Tom called this week's fallen Star fan favorite Kate Gosselin, or that the Free Tony t-shirt I ordered might have a weaker shelf life than I'd suspected. I'll just call it a vintage Dancing With the Stars collector's item and wear it as a bottom layer... in bed.

Props-lover Pamela Anderson was in the bottom two with Kate - yes, the real bottom two this time. After the show, fan favorite Kate Gosselin told my colleague Lynette Rice, I knew. My gut feelings are always right...I woke up this morning and I knew it was today. And it was okay. (Read the whole interview here.)

Bachelor Jake and Chelsie danced this week's encore - DANCMSTR and Carrie Ann innocently wanted to see a really fun cha cha cha, and Bruno wanted the chance to see a certain someone in his tighty whiteys again. Too bad DANCMSTR said Chad and Chelsie, thus blowing his cover. Maybe he wanted Ochocinco to step up his Jungle Book attire a bit and dance with Chelsie in just a loincloth. They would have suited each other, too, as Chelsie's boob popped out mid-dance. No worries! She nudged that puppy right back in and the show went on, as it must because it is liiiiiiiiiive. Sadly, this dance couldn't capture the magic of Monday night's run because Giant Wig Lady was no longer a fixture in the audience.

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