'Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami' season premiere

First there was James Franco tackling General Hospital. And now we have Oscar winner Angelina Jolie, critical darling Christian Bale, and High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens casting vanity aside to play common fameosexuals in E!’s banal yet oddly watchable Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.*

(*Okay, so I’m really just making this up. But I couldn’t take on recapping this “reality” show unless I imagined it as an indie movie starring A-list stars. Or something like it. So let’s keep this party going, shall we?)

Jolie is certainly the star of the show. Her Khloe is a scattered newlywed who dreams of luxuriating on the couch in her Los Angeles mansion while her basketball pro husband is “in season.” But lured by the prospect of maintaining disposable fame, helping her sister earn income through a family-owned clothing boutique, and drinking tequila, she departs for Miami and is immediately confronted by her sister Kourtney’s terrifying, rage-filled baby daddy (Bale, basically reprising his role from American Psycho). The juxtaposition between Khloe’s home life (where her husband kisses and caresses her on the floor, and essentially treats her like a curvaceous goddess) is in stark contrast to the treatment she gets in Miami (where she’s picked at by pretty much everyone for her travel plans, her drinking habits, and her penchant for showing up late for work).

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