'Jersey Shore' Recap: 'Too Many Miami Vices' Season 2, Episode 2

We picked up Jersey Shore episode two right where we left off last week: Ronnie's hungover after a long night's "work" at the club, where he engaged in the deadly triple-grenade-kiss combo. Sammi's pressing everyone to tell her how Ron "did himself" the night before (that sounds gross in the past tense, doesn't it?), but Pauly kept it vague: "Too many Miami Vices." Whoa, you guys. Do you know what this MEANS? Pauly D made my joke before I had the chance to make it. I don't know if that should make me feel bad about myself, or good about Pauly D. But whatever. Baby's first pun!

The worst part about Ronnie's black-out actions according to the collective Jersey brain trust is that he came home from a night of public slutting and immediately climbed into bed with Sammi. No, wait--it's more specific than that. The worst part is that he came home from a night of slutting with UGLY girls and climbed in bed with her. The distinction is important, because the ugliness adds to the disrespect. If the girls had been hot, Sammi would have to be like, "Oh, you were playing musical tongues with super hot girls? Yes, OK, I understand. I would have done the same thing." But they weren't hot, so now Ron's like:

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