Dancing with the Stars Season 9, Episode 16: Monday, Nov. 9, 2009 - Recap

No more group numbers or team dances! Dancing with the Stars' remaining five couples face double the pressure this week, as they each perform two main dances. Who nailed both? Find out below!

Two dances, people, two! And since this is the season of change, the Latin round dances will all be based on a decade: the '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s and the, uh, future. Thanks, guys. Before we get down to business in the ballroom round, we are treated to a package from the judges to kill time. Oh, and so they can objectively tell us what they're looking for from each star. Did they read Maks' complaints? Hmm. So what say them? Donny has too many sweeping movents, Joanna needs to find balance, Kelly needs to improve in ballroom, Mya does too many showy moves and Aaron can't be overly exuberant in the foxtrot.

Ballroom Round

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin: Quickstep

Mya wants to prove herself, but she and Dmitry agree they shouldn't change their strategy to please the judges. Uh, maybe you should so you don't get another 5. So instead of strategizing, they go horseback-riding. As always, Mya's steps are on point. She's not very crisp, but the fast pace isn't tripping her up at all. The routine is also infused with a lot more intricate choreography and there's a nice easy flow to it. But yet there's still no charisma or personality exuding from her. Len says he can't find anything to criticize. Bruno calls it quality and vintage champagne - "After you taste it, nothing else will do." No, thanks. Carrie Ann loves the gracefulness, but doesn't feel like Mya is in it to win it.

Score: 29

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff: Foxtrot

The flu hits Karina this week, but chick is going to tough it out because she doesn't want Aaron dancing with anyone else. And he doesn't want to dance with anyone else either. Why don't you guys just pee around each other? Compared to their high-octane jive(s) last week, this thing is a total snoozefest. I don't expect a foxtrot to get me on my feet, but there's nothing really engaging about this. They're doing all the moves decently and it's all falling kind of flat. Aaron is not terrible here, but there's nothing warm or sophisticated about it. Bruno sees how much work he put into it, but finds it tense. Carrie Ann points out a lift and the loss in fluidity. Fathe figure Len is proud of his boy in a toy store. Yeah, I'm not sure either.

Score: 23

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough: Quickstep

Scouting their competition, Derek plays Mya's past dances to show Joanna what to emulate - particularly her frame and her seamless footwork. Jo has the solid frame down; the footwork? Not so much. Her Bambi legs are at it again, which I think we all saw coming with the quick nature of this dance. Girl really needs to learn how to rein them in and fine-tune the steps because she can nail them. But maybe all the running around is throwing her off. Seriously, WTF, Derek? What are you running away from? Doing choreography? Carrie Ann doesn't like the pointy toes. Len doesn't like that they lacked body contact or the running around. Bruno says she was running away from the scene of a crime and points out some issues "downstairs." No comment.

Score: 23

Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Amstel: Foxtrot

Kelly hasn't had a ballroom dance since the first week, so they've got their work cut out for them. The problem is, Kelly gets easily distracted. But wouldn't you if you've got adorable poofy pups like she does? Louis hides all her distractions in a box (no puppies were harmed during this segment) so they can focus. Good plan because Kelly's totally in the zone here and you know when she's in the zone, she's got it. She's fluid and elegant - way more so than Joanna was in her quickstep. Len loves the posture, but not the footwork. Bruno calls her ethereal. Carrie Ann says she has a secret weapon that makes her special, but wants her to work on her spot and her turns.

Score: 25

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson: Viennese Waltz

Donny's starting over because the quickstep last week overwhelmed him and he wasn't having fun anymore. Does Donny ever look like he's not having fun though? That's what you call great acting. The new Donny is totally rocking this Viennese waltz with no Osmond Slouch in sight and I will go out on a limb and say he's genuinely having a good time here. The whole routine is polished, lithe and just made of pretty. Donny's oozing charisma, is dancing within himself and there are no egregious errors. Bruno loves it and says it was like watching a Lifetime movie. Like Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? Carrie Ann finds it mesmerizing. Len loves the fleckle step, but thinks it was too "arty farty". So we get "airy fairy" from Bruno and "arty farty" from Len. Ball's in your court, Carrie Ann.

Score: 26

After yet another time-filler-upper from the pros performing a Latin medley, the judges return with another package rating the top 5 for the Latin round. They want Dombo (Donny meets Rambo), Mya to stop playing it safe, Joanna to get aggressive, Kelly to let go and Aaron to have bounce and bongos. Paging McConaughey?

Era-Specific Latin Round

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin: '70s Samba'

Mya wants to channel Diana Ross, but has only channeled Raggedy Ann รข€” partially because Dima's having a mini-breakdown. Isn't the star supposed to have a meltdown here? Dmitry shows no signs of stress on the floor though, but how can you with a giant porn 'stache on your face? "I'm just glad the Life on Mars wardrobe is still getting use," Tom quips later. I was concerned about how they would incorporate these themes into the dances, but so far, they're doing it effortlessly. The disco moves flow smoothly into the samba move. Mya's working the hips and actually looks like she's conveying excitement. I know, people, I know. It had to happen eventually. Carrie Ann believes she wants to win it. Len says she's absolutely on fire. Bruno calls her the baddest girl he's ever seen and then nearly renders us deaf with a rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough."

Score: 30

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff: '90s Samba'

A.C.'s happy he got the '90s, obviously, since that's the only full decade he's lived through. Aaron wants to put rodeo moves into the dance. Karina's confused. Luckily for all of us, they didn't go all-out with the rodeo-ing. The number is energetic and full of pizzazz and lots of quintessential boy band moves. You know what I'm talking about. Total missed opportunity on not having the Backstreet Boys consult with this. And not having Aaron dance to a boy band song. "Two Princes" has a special place in my heart and all, but c'mon. Production fail. The samba and '90s moves don't mesh as nicely as Mya's '70s moves did, but Aaron is selling it well. These energetic dances really suit him. Len loves it and Aaron, of course. Adopt the kid, already. Bruno says his energy has made good. Carrie Ann thinks he's hitting it. Backstage, Aaron tells us he almost threw up. TMI.

Score: 27

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough: Futuristic Paso Doble

Derek wants to show everyone something they've never seen before. Well, duh! Of course we haven't seen it - it's from the future! Joanna told me they're going to have robotic moves in here, which is really all I can imagine incorporating into this. Apparently in the future, they have dayglow on their clothes... which includes aluminum foil and diaper-esque shorts. Really, the only thing missing from it are Conan's metallic "In the Year 3000" shields. Once you get past that, this is not the hot mess you first think it will be. The paso content is still there and they don't overdo it with the robot-ness. The choppiness of the paso plays to Joanna's advantage since she doesn't have to be as fluid and connecting with her movements. There's not a lot of aggression, but I suppose that doesn't matter as much here since they're bots. Bruno calls it a masterful reinvention. Carrie Ann says it had outstanding execution, but notes a weird back-kick. Len accuses Bruno of stealing his critique: genius.

Score: 29

Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Amstel: '60s Jive

The '60s is one of Kelly's favorite eras, so she schools Louis on some of the decade's classic moves. They start off with a ragdoll gimmick, which goes on a tad bit too long. Their jive looks a little on the slow side compared to Aaron's last week. No, Aaron will not be the barometer by which all jives are measured, but the difference in speed is obvious. Kelly handles the steps decently, but seems tentative on the spins and turns. Her flicks are also weak and isn't getting much high off her kicks. She really needs to dance with more abandon with high-energy dances like these. Len calls her a revelation. Uh, what dance was he watching? Bruno thinks it's groovy, baby, and wants her to "come back to daddy." What would Ozzy do? Carrie Ann loves the way she came alive and got creeped out by the doll.

Score: 26'

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson: '80s Paso Doble

Donny's glad they got the '80s because he rocked a mullet back then. So he rocks it again, Adam Ant-style. Donny and Kym seriously have the best costumes and hair of the night. No contest. So campy, outrageous, jheri curls, crimped and tweezed out locks - and there's a wind machine! I don't know whether to laugh, cringe or cry, but this is so awesomely '80s and thus, awesomely entertaining. The wackiness of the outfits dilute the aggressiveness of the paso a bit, but Donny's still formidable and his posture is holding up. Len calls it the most bizarre and scary paso he's ever seen, but likes it. Bruno says it was like watching Donny doing Marie doing Donny doing Marie. We're not going to go there. Carrie Ann thinks he captured the era well, but couldn't see all of his lines.

Score: 24

That leaves Mya and Dmitry on top 59, one point shy of perfection. Tied at bottom are Aaron and Karina and Donny and Kym, each with 50.

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