MAJOR SPOILERS: Reality Steve's Episode-by-Episode Breakdown of the Bachelor Pad!

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT! If you don't want any exposure to Reality Steve's Bachelor Pad spoilers, you best get to steppin'. It's the only way you'll be able to preserve a sense of childlike wonder for the August 9 premiere...

Trashtastic! If you think The Bachelorette is too classy, you will love Bachelor Pad. Today, spoiler king Reality Steve spilled all the details from the six-episode series, which starts Monday, August 9, just a week after Ali does whatever she does in The Bachelorette finale. ABC has already filmed most of the series, so Steve was able to get episode-by-episode scoop on the challenges, winners, and losers. Oh, and the hookups!

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