'Gossip Girl' recap: A Chuck-Blair Moment Lessens the Blow of Dan-Vanessa (Gulp) Sex

Bon jour, Gossipers.

The taste of vomit in my mouth has finally abated enough for me to form coherent thoughts about last night's Gossip Girl, but stay tuned for spontaneous gagging when we get to the part about naked Dan and Vanessa lost in a sea of burnt orange sheets. Gah! No, no, no. Let's think happy thoughts: Blair's beautiful museum dress (coveted item of the week!); Nate's shoulders; hot men who use canes; the heartbreakingly earnest moment between our most beloved couple. Sigh. That's better. Now that I'm in my happy place, let's back up.

We returned to Paris where -- much like Serena's legs -- things were closing up in preparation for the end of summer. But not before Blair could get a second chance to bag herself a Prince. No, not "Henry Prince." Rather, Prince Louis, who had agreed to give see Blair once more, despite last week's disaster of a date. As Blair took off to tour Paris like the proletariat, Serena got a call from her mother, who had received "upsetting" news from the Paris police: Chuck might be dead!

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