'The Bachelorette' Men Tell All Special: Live Thoughts

I have a theory, Bachelorette fans: How you view the "Men" or "Women Tell All" special during each corresponding Bachelorette or Bachelor season says a lot about you. And not just as a TV watcher. But as a human being. Where do you fit in?

Group A: Think of it as a jolly way to relive your favorite and never-before-seen moments from the season? You're a glass-half-full sort of person who tries to see the silver lining in even the darkest storm clouds. People tend to find your constant optimism constantly annoying.

Group B: Consider it a freebie week, when you can catch up on other business (favorite shows, that puzzle in the den, your self-google alerts, etc.) while casually flipping back during commercials to make sure you haven't missed anything? Wish someone would edit the ridiculous two-hours down to a 1-minute highlight reel so you didn't have to bother? You're an efficient opportunist for whom The Bachelorette is a guilty pleasure in an otherwise hectic and hollow life. You pretend you don't care, but you love this show, though you probably watch in secret to avoid shame from friends and coworkers. And so you can play your personal Bachelorette drinking game, no questions asked.

Group C: Take to the Internet, Twitter, Facebook, txting, and/or your real life friends' faces to moan about what a waste of time that "Men Tell All" is, who does ABC think they're fooling, you're too busy for that junk, though you continue to tune in every year with the slightest shred of a hope that some morsel of intriguing commentary or shocking revelation will come your way, leading you to question your own masochistic and naive nature when that hope is brutally dashed each season? I feel your pain, I really do, and you may be right. But you're better off relocating to A or B, my C-guys. If you can't beat them (or bring yourself to change the channel) then you might as well join them, right? I think they sleep better. Fewer ghosts of reasonable expectations.

Wherever you land, here you are. You're here to chat about "The Men Tell All" special edition of The Bachelorette, which means you must care what these Men have to Tell us, after All.

Let's make the most of it, and approach this like adults, yes? And if there's anything I've learned in my so-far brief stint as a real adult, it's this: if you lower your standards far enough, you'll never be disappointed. The Group A and B folks know what I'm talking about.

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