Welcome to week two, rose lovers! I don't know about you, but I feel dumber already. Let's start this recap with a hearty congratulations to Michael break dancer Stagliano and his brother Stephen, who recently got engaged to some girls. Too bad, Jillian - you had your chance. (Not to be outdone, Deanna's ex Jesse also snagged himself a life partner.) Now, on to Bachelor Pad.
So, this is weird...episode two opens at last week's cocktail party. Is it me, or is it very disorienting not to begin a Bachelor/Bachelorette episode on a bright sunny California day? I suppose the key reason producers chose to pick things up right where they left off is so that we could witness Elizabeth and Kovacs' post-show debrief, in which blondie again warns her pretend boyfriend that people are upset with him, and that he's going to have to stick by her if he wants to stay in the game: I think it's best if we show each other that our paths match up. In other words, You're mine, bitch! Kovacs is definitely feeling the pull of the leash, though he's pretending to like the feel of the choke collar around his neck: I'm actually realizing the being in a couple is a better strategy than being alone, he insists. Speaking of couples, Natalie has fallen hard for Tattoo Jesse, so much so that she lets him feel her up on the couch. I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, does my hair look okay?''' she confesses to the camera. I'm being all insecure with myself. It's kind of frustrating. Don't worry, honey - Jesse has high praise for you, too, specifically that you are in rad shape and are really cool.''
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