Big Brother' recap: Old faces, new drama, and a winner!

Who'd have thought that season that had gotten so much flack for being light on action would go out with such a bang? In a two-hour finale that didn't really feel like two hours at all, our Big Brother 12 contestants aired the many secrets they'd been harboring, we learned which houseguests will simply never get along, and we saw the re-emergence of Ragan's bow tie, which I'd secretly hoped had been sacrificially burned in a fire dedicated to human decency. Oh, and Hayden won $500,000 and the title of Most Popular Student on the Arizona college campus which he attends.

But let's back up. Don't worry; I'm not going to subject you to a seven-minute recap of the entire season like CBS did to us. Because we've watched the whole season, damn it! And those seven minutes could have been better used on other things, like maybe a cage match to the death featuring Monet and Rachel. Or an oily flexing contest between Brendon, Lane, and Hayden. (Mmmmm) Sorry, nevermind; that last one's not a competition. Brendon clearly would have won.

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