Criss Angel is here tonight (on the show, not in your house but wouldn't that be terrifying). But on with the show, the first group is Kruti Dance Company, Michael Grasso, Swing Shift Sideshow, and Rudi Macaggi. This one's got to go to Michael Grasso. Yes! Michael Grasso and his disappearing ladies move on. There is justice in the world.
And now Criss Angel will try "something that has never been done before," will he make YOU "Believe"? Too much time was spent with the judges buckling him into the straightjacket and mugging. Now Criss will attempt the upside-down straightjacket escape in under one minute. He seems like a douchebag, I hope he doesn't make it, but he wiggled around and got out. Then some magic priests locked him in a box, some flash pots went off, and he switched spots with a sexy animal girl. You kinda had to be there, but you're probably glad you weren't.
The second group contains The Hot Shot Tap Dancers, RNG, and Anna and Patryk. Which dancers will move on? I guess I want it to be RNG, although I didn't anticipate any of these acts being in the top four. AUGH it's Anna and Patryk. We'll have to see another creepy child samba in the semi-finals.
In the third group, we have CJ Dippa and Connor Doran. Oh god, this could really say something about what America wants. Inspiration and sentimentality or everything that's wrong with kids today? SIGH OF RELIEF it's Connor Doran, and CJ Dippa can't "hate" because it would make him look really really bad.
The final three acts awaiting the judges' decision are Doogie Horner, Harmonica Pierre, and Michael Lipari and Ashleigh Dejon. But first, a very weird performance from a bikini-clad Leann Rimes. YIKES. Alright, first thing's first: Harmonica Pierre, you are obviously out. But no! Doogie Horner is ousted first! My mind is boggled. Now the judges must choose between a strange harmonica act and a completely terrifying aerial act. Should Michael Lipari and Ashleigh Dejon move forward for a cheap scare? It comes down to Howie, who puts Michael and Ashleigh through and it's all just as well.
Comb out your new long, white beard, we're finally getting into the semi-finals!