This week on 24: the USS Plot Movement sailed into port and all the thirsty sailors (a.k.a. me) rejoiced by tossing our empty bottles at Dana. Sadly, the bottles were empty, hic, so the projectiles didn't kill her or her stupidity. Sadness. Unsurprisingly, the USS Plot Movement had dangerous cargo on board: a young Muslim extremist with the world's worst suicide bomb strapped to his torso. "My goodness," you must be thinking, "The world's worst suicide bomb? That's terrible! How will Jack Bauer save us from complete and utter destruction this time?" Worry not, dear reader, for this is the world's worst suicide bomb not in terms of damage, but in terms of quality. I understand that the black market for explosive devices isn't always flush with high-end triggers. I'm sure this particular bomb was hastily assembled. I'm willing to make some allowances. However, I don't know much about explosives, but somewhere in my blurry recollection of high school physics, I recall that if you want to set something like this off, all you have to do is complete the circuit, yes? And yet, poor Mr. Marcos Zacar had his Big Bad Bomb Trigger hacked remotely by the bumbling idiots at CTU and is now in the sticky situation of having to, um, you know, set it off himself. Heaven forbid! Were I in 24-land, I would be sleeping safely tonight knowing that there is absolutely zero danger of a dirty bomb going off in New York because this terrorist cell probably has trouble figuring out which side of the microwavable popcorn bag goes up.
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