Recap: Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Twelve gets trimmed to 11 as the second star gets auf-ed on Dancing with the Stars. Think you know who it is? Don't bet on it.

Time for a recap of Monday night. Sigh. The fan reaction reminded LT of the Super Bowl. I think this is sacrilegious to say, no? Denise thinks she's in the bottom two and Maks is not amused. Karina and Steve have a new move for next week: The Pillsbury dough boy laugh. Don't write him off yet, guys.

Before we get down to business, Tom tells us next week there'll be a double elimination. Hey now! Dramatic, yes. Did they finally realize they wasted the first week? Or is it a ploy to ensure Woz will be out if he's safe this week?

First four safe couples:

Melissa & Tony

Gilles & Cheryl

Shawn & Mark (smart to get these out of the way)

Steve & Karina (Revenge of the Nerds! Karina blows out my eadrums. It's kind of endearing. The judges golf-clap. At least Bruno's not rocking the bitchface again. Major mistake dusting off those 3 paddles. Guess they can shill out the dough boy next week.)

Did Sam just call Gilles "Joe"? She grills Melissa more on how easy it is for her to dance. We're gonna beat this dead horse, aren't we? And Sam, Tom's not the only one not listening to you.

Four more safe couples:

Lawrence & Edyta

David & Kym

Chuck & Julianne

Lil Kim & Derek

They'll be back next week to do one of two new dances: the Lindy hop or the Argentine tango. What are they, you ask? Well, they just so happened to have Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas on standby to kill more time. I would pay to have all of the couples duplicate these two's routines. The Lindy hop is something about a young woman and swing. The Argentine tango is something about gauchos being seduced by grandmas. Cloris nearly kicks Corky in the crotch, and they make out. Somewhere, Mark is dying. As am I.

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