America's Next Top Model Recap: Le Cycle 13 Premiere, Oh Mon Dieu!

After so much anticipation for more ANTM in all our lives, after so much speculation about what the eff Tyra is going to do with a bunch of short models in her ranks, and after so much excitement for their stump-tastic critiques and midget-on-midget fighting, it's finally here: America's Next Top Model Cycle 13: Battle of the Wee Ones. America's Next Top Mini-Model. America's Next Not--quite-to-the-Top Model. Whatever you want to call it, it's here! And, thank God Tyra, this season looks to be just as full of crazies, criers, and princesses as it ever was! Sometimes, it seems, the shorter they are, the harder they fall... on the runway, I hope. The first hour of the 2-hour, double-decker episode covers the final casting process, which narrows down 32 hopefuls to the final 14 skinny little ladies. Casting: Of course, Tyra spends most of the first hour patting herself on the back for taking on the immense burden of making it all about her using her righteous axe of feminist justice to break beauty boundaries and open up the fashion world to so many young, beautiful, and tragically petite women of the world. I know being short and trying to model is tough, maybe even near impossible. (I don't know from experience. I know because these contestants keep telling me so.) In the rigidly (and in a way, necessarily) superficial business of employing human clothes hangers, it's just well known that the clothes look better on the taller hangers. It's just science, people. But the way Tyra keeps going on about how revolutionary this season is, you'd think she had actual little people up there on the runway, dragging sagging ballgowns behind them like they were parachutes. Seriously, some of these girls are 5'7''. They're all gorgeous and thin and have insanely model-y frames. So settle down, Mother Tyra. Set up America's Next Top Midget, and then we'll talk about that Nobel Prize for which you seem to be constantly applying. Tyra should spend less time trying to break fashion standards and more time increasing her fake foreign accent standards. Seriously, her French accent during her requisite cheesy entrance to the 32 screechers was so, so bad this season. And there were no weird goddess costumes or cardboard boxes painted like cryogenic alien pods to distract us from it. First she storms out, yelling "How dare you! How dare you!" in her best booming King of England voice, kicking off stage the terrible actor/show producer she hired to act like a heightist... something. Modeling agent? I don't know. Then she transitions into terrible half-French that sounds like this: "Thees world, the worl' that weee leeve een, they try to save that boo-tee es en aye leetle BOX. Oui? But. We are breaking out de BOX. We are keecking da BOX." Apparently "BOX" is the most important word to French people. They can't say it without putting it in all caps. Right, French people? Americans hate you, but I bet not as much as you hate Tyra right now. french-tyra.jpg "Let zem eeeet NO cake, beecuz tha' would make dem shor' AND fat!" But the models don't care about the accent! They're too distracted by how beee-autiful Tyra is! Or at least that's what all the clips we see (every cycle) make us believe. After being welcomed by Gerard Depardieu over here (that's the only French guy I could think of, and Tyra's accent is about as bulbous and gross as his face is), the 32 finalists get their measureMONTS (that's how you say it in French, according to Tyra), practice their runway walks, and get polaroids taken of them by the Jays. Panel Judging: But now it's time for the judging panel, where Tyra and her gang help us get to know the frontrunners and then force them to make awkward poses in their swimsuits. By this point we've learned a few names, but they're still mostly a big mass of "Who dat?" Except for a couple initial standouts: - Skinny Minney Amber, the Bible thumping manic who can't go two seconds without talking about her loins' burning sensation for Jesus - Rae, a gorgeous blonde who's already a doting mom at just 21 years old - Short and spunky Sundai, the "from circumstances" contestant (she was abused as a kid and put into foster care) who's got pluck, a goofy laugh, and one helluva big weave - Bianca, who seems bent on being nicknamed Bitchanca, though she's been through some abuse herself (a violent boyfriend, whose bad memory inspired her to start anew with a shaved head) - Redhead Nicole, who breaks the ice with the others by telling them she likes eyeballs because her nickname used to be "bloody eyeball." (It's since been cured.) But Nicole's not the only freak in this 32-ring circus. There's also this girl, who I'm pretty sure I've seen walking around Seattle recently (oh wait, that's every hipster ever): glasses-mcgoo.jpg "They're a metaphor for how full of sh*t I am! Get it? Hollow, silly, and impractical. Like my brain." Why this Glasses Magoo was allowed so far into casting, and why the Jays didn't steal the empty plastic frames and do a Mexican hat dance all over them, I will never know. But I will also not care for very much longer, because what's her name is not going any further here. We also meet: - Jennifer, an Asian beauty who got into a fight with a Jersey hussy who kissed her then-boyfriend - Cropped cut Courtney, the currently crippled cheerleader (she's on crutches with a broken foot) with no boobs to speak of, but lots of determination - Amanda who lives in a pop-up trailer without plumbing and walks like a trucker - Blonde Brittany, who has been doing math since she was 3 and seems to think winning ANTM would make her the ultimate nerd babe... or something. - Pretty Erin, who much prefers reading and learning to lipgloss-applying and shopping - Masculine-featured Kara, who's a "free spirit, go wherever the wind takes me" (because I can afford to thanks to my rich parents) sort of gal - Lulu, who's preciously buck-toothed, has been out as a lesbian for 2 years and has a tattoo of her girlfriend's name on her chest - Lovely Latina Lisa, who is intensely praised her perfectly threaded eyebrows, but is otherwise forgettable - Ashley, a no-fuss beauty and dance coach, who says she was approached at The Tyra Show to be on ANTM (Brilliant move to get butts in the Tyra Show seats!) - Laura, who with her long, curly blonde locks and thick Kentucky accent is adorably country, complete with stories about castrating cows - Rachel, this season's anime-in-the-flesh (though her features' quirks pale in comparison to the real Creepy Chan), whose big Bambi eyes cause Tyra to deem her a "special face" In panel, Nicole-atrix Lestrange doesn't exactly impress the judges with her energy. Miss J says she looks like she took 5 downers before she showed up. It turns out Nicole just really, really weird. She admits that she was a miserable loner in high school. She wakes up every day at 3 or 4 AM. She brings a large, rusty wheelbarrow to school instead of a backpack. So yeah. But she seems naturally odd, unlike the annoying affected Amber, who's still busy grinding and burning for Jesus. Nicole is also gorgeous and kind of sweet, when you get past her monotone (verbally and emotionally) personality. After panel, Nicole worries that she killed her chances by being a downer, but Amber and others assure her that she is beautiful, though she will need to speak up to stay in the game. Rae the hot mom, on the other hand, impresses the judges with her strength, as she tells the tale of a horrific sexual assault, which she says she has dealt with and wants to turn around to serve a better purpose. Other half-note-getters include Ciara, who accidentally aspires to be a car model with her too-sexy poses, and Raven, a suspenders-wearing tumbler on speed who seems to think she's applying to be in the circus: raven2.jpg That's SOOOO Raven! (When "Raven" = obnoxious.) First Elimination: After panel, it's another Elimination time, when they will narrow from 32 to 20. Each girl has a garment bag. If it's empty, she's out. From each girl's amount of air time, we know who's going to find a gown and survive to walk the runway, but it's still sad to see the no-name contestants sob as they open the barren bags. The remaining 20 put on their assigned garments and, after doing their own hair and makeup, do a runway challenge in which they need to hit four poses at the end of the catwalk. Oddballs like Kentucky Laura and Lord-loving Amber surprise the others with their natural modeling talent. Who knew? Tyra meets up with the Jays to go over the footage from the runway, and deliberate before the final cut from 20 to 14. A series of overtly sexual poses from some of the girls make Tyra worry that shorter girls seek the male gaze more than they should. Guess we know what Tyra's pet project is going to be this season (besides helping the short from looking too short, of course). Elimination: 14 girls are cast on America's Next Top Model, and they are... Jennifer, Erin, Rachel, Kara, Lulu, Rae, Ashley, Brittany, Bianca, Courtney, Nicole (who is so surprised that she doesn't even react for a minute), Amber, Laura, and Sundai. the-original-14.jpg Tyra comforts the rejected girls by telling them, yes, they are too short to be real models, but they can still do commercials and face modeling! And she then... inspires? the final 14 by telling them they need to be better than the naturally tall, model-y girls at looking tall and model-y. Good luck with that! Source Buddy tv

America's Next Top Model Cycle 13 Premiere: What We're Excited To See

The day is finally here! After a whole lot of hoopla from Tyra and her crew about the season of the shorties, America's Next Top Model Cycle 13 premieres tonight at 8 PM on The CW ! It's a two-hour special, with the first half devoted to narrowing down 32 girls to the eventual, final 14 aspiring models. Then, in the second hour, comes a first for ANTM: immediate makeovers! Or "Ty-overs," as they call them (of course). Then it's on when the first photoshoot asks the models to reimagine their own baby photos in an editorial photo shoot, and one girl is eliminated when her photo falls short. (Get it? They're all short! You get it.) You've seen ANTM premieres before, and this one is just as packed with beauty, outbursts, dancing, singing, screaming, crying, and drama as ever before! All season long, BuddyTV bloggers Meghan Carlson (that's me) and Maria Gonzalez will be saturating you with extensive America's Next Top Model coverage every single day. Here's what each of us are most looking forward to seeing in tonight's cycle premiere, and the whole upcoming season of America's Next Top Model: To Read More Click here .

Tonight's TV Hot List: Wednesday, Sept. 9, 2009 - Featured

* So You Think You Can Dance (8/7c Fox) Since the fifth season ended just over a month ago on Aug. 6, there's hardly been time to catch your breath before the sixth season gets under way. But your gasping for air will be nothing compared to the panting by the dancers hoping to follow in the footsteps of past winners Nick Lazzarini, Benji Schwimmer, Sabra Johnson, Joshua Allen and Jeanine Mason, and that journey begins tonight with the first round of auditions. * America's Next Top Model (8/7c The CW ) Models are tall. Everyone knows that. But, as Tyra Banks points out in the Top Model 13th season premiere, Kate Moss and Jaime Rishar are only 5-foot-7. Hoping to join their ranks are 32 petite women - all 5-foot-7 or under - on tonight's fun two-hour premiere. Before the first hour concludes, the number is shortened to the 14 hopefuls who will compete for this year's top prize. Makeovers then take place, and the gals pose in a clever photo shoot that recreates and updates one of their childhood snapshots. Supermodel Chanel Iman appears as a guest judge. * Glee (9/8c Fox) In case you missed its sneak-peek premiere in May (or its repeats since) and haven't been tweeting with its characters, Glee is a high-school send-up from Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy that follows the ups and (mostly) downs of a school glee club. As you might suspect, "glee" is considered to be nerdy, so why is the football quarterback (Cory Monteith) in it? Folks who saw the pilot know: blackmail. But the show the kids put on tonight is anything but nerdy. * Leverage (9/8c TNT ) Just as Nate and his con-artist crew have sought positional advantage all season, so, too, has the series itself been doing some fine maneuvering lately. Tonight marks the summer finale, but the show is positioned to return this winter and it recently leveraged a third-season renewal. (Season 3 is scheduled to air next summer.) So, the good-guy scammers and schemers are moving forward, as they do tonight when they target a shady lawyer who's out to wrest control of his client's estate. Stepping up to the forefront of the power ploy is Parker, who masquerades as a long-lost daughter. Jeri Ryan and Peter Riegert guest star. * Real World (10/9c MTV ) The time has come for the cast mates to pack their bags and say adios to Cancun - and each other - as another season of this perennial reality series draws to a close. Their South of the Border stay may be winding down, but the drama is still heating up - especially with kicked-off cast member Joey making a surprise return. Some will welcome him back with open arms, and others (namely Ayiiia) not so much. Source Here

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Season 13 Premiere "How Short Can You Go"

Watch a Preview of the season 13 premiere episode of America's Next Top Model (aka AMNTM) Cycle 13 "How Short Can You Go" which airs on Wednesday, September 9 at 8pm on The CW . Episode Synopsis: For the first time in Top Model history, girls 5' 7' and under, well below the industry height standard, compete to become America's Next Top Model. Fourteen hopefuls prove that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and heights when they compete to win a contract with Wilhelmina Models. The ladies move into their Los Angeles home and learn they will be receiving makeovers the next day. During the first photo shoot, the girls put a modern twist on one of their baby photos. This week's guest judge is supermodel Chanel Iman. To Watch The Preview Click Here . Source Here

America's Next Top Model 13: Finally, the Interviews!

Yessssss. Finally, The CW has released the (brief) interviews with the 14 newest America's Next Top Model contestants! I must admit that I'm watching these clips after having already seen the 2-hour premiere episode (jealous much?) of ANTM 13, so I have some solid preconceived notions about these ladies in my head at this point. I know that you want to know as much about the girls as possible, so take a look at each interview and form your own opinions about who will excel and who will say goodbye early! Your guesses are as good as mine. However, since I was lucky enough to catch a sneak peek of the premiere, I've also taken the liberty of making my own predictions about the stereotype each of them will embody this season. Bear in mind, I could be way off. But I doubt it. And there are no spoilers about who will be eliminated! You'll have to wait until September 9 to find that out. To Read More Click Here .

America's Next Top Model: Watch a 5 Minute Preview of the Cycle 13 Season Premiere!

I could waste 45 seconds of your precious time writing a flowery introduction to this clip in which I would remind you that Cycle 13 of America's Next Top Model premieres on Wednesday, September 9 at 8 PM, and that this season is special because all the contestants are under 5'7'', and that we already have photos of the 14 finalists here, and here, and oh yeah, over here, but I know what you really want. You want to watch that video I teased in the headline, and you want to watch it now! So I'll refrain from wasting any more of your time, except to promise this: I've got the entire first episode in my hands, and I will be giving you even more sneaks and spoilers as the America's Next Top Model premiere date approaches. Source & Preview Here

America's Next Top Model Cycle 13 Poster: "Book 'Em!"

Check out the newest promotional poster for America's Next Top Model Cycle 13, which (I doubt you'll need to sit down for this shocker) primarily features a high-heeled Tyra towering over her 14 flat-footed, vertically challenged contestants. There's something weirdly comforting in that, despite the various social and economic upheavals that make our world the ever-changing but consistently troubling mess it is, we can always rely on Miss Tyra to make it all about her. With thanks to for posting the, err... poster! (That wasn't repetitive at all!) Source Here

ANTM and Make Me a Supermodel Models Appear on Project Runway

Shame on me for not noticing this! Zap2it uncovered that on last week's Project Runway All Star Challenge, former contestants from both America's Next Top Model and Bravo 's Make Me a Supermodel appeared as models on the runway. Check it out: That's Mountaha (S2) and Shannon (S1) from Supermodel and Anya from ANTM! Source

New ANTM Models Rae and Laura Talk Short Stature, Tall Dreams

We've seen photos of the lucky shorties who will compete in this cycle of America's Next Top Model , but we haven't gotten to hear much from the models just yet. With identities of the chosen 14 now out in the open, the local papers of two finalists, Rachael Weisz and Laura Kirkpatrick, got the chance to ask the girls about their modeling goals and experiences while filming ANTM this spring. Check out their interviews after the jump. Two very different backgrounds and personalities--it should be interesting to see Rae and Laura together when ANTM premieres September 9 on The CW ! To Read More Click Here .

ANTM: Cycle 13 Group Shot

The CW has released the first group shot of the Cycle 13 shorties. Check it out: From left to right: Sundai, Nicole, Laura, Erin, Lulu, Jennifer, Brittany, Courtney, Bianca, Rae, Kara, Ashley, Rachel, Lisa Source