'Scream Queens' S1E9: Ghost Stories

★ ★ ★ ★

And then there were 11. If Ryan Murphy sticks to his original plan of only having four survivors, then we have 7 deaths to go in the span of 3 more episodes. Now that cannon fodder is officially out of the way, it should be fun watching the KKT girls get picked off one by one.

If Scream Queens gets cancelled, Ryan Murphy should really consider making a Tales from the Crypt-esque series with Mama Denise telling ghost stories to a bunch of KKT pledges gathered around a campfire about the Ghost of Dead Gay Boone, horse faced bitches, and Kappas snatching them by the vagina.

As funny as Denise’s stories were, there’s no way they could have carried the weight of the entire episode — it would have been too much filler. But thankfully, those ghost stories were used to fuel a crazed blaze of Urban Legend moments throughout the episode. Unlike the killer in Urban Legend, who had previous knowledge of urban legends before murdering people as if they were in the stories, the Red Devils had to have known the exact stories Denise told in order to carry them out like they did.

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I’m not sure if Ryan Murphy realizes just how fantastic Scream Queens is at covering up its plot holes by giving us a "just ‘cuz" response. This is a world where getting a chainsaw from your grandmother to protect yourself is a perfectly normal thing to have happen. This is so apparent that you can’t try to logic your way through each and every episode because as long as something serves the plot, it works. For example: how did the Red Devil get his/her hands on blue and red toilet paper in the time it took Denise to go to the bathroom after telling her story about the Red Cloak? Just ‘cuz. The same goes for Boone, who faked his death by learning how to slow down his heart rate to an almost nonexistent level, and took movie makeup courses just to give it all some "logic."

Boone’s return breathed life into the whole killing tag-team storyline. While hearing Gigi play the pronoun game (saying as little as possible to not spoil anything) was a bore, a Red Devil civil war made for a great couple of scenes. For now, Scream Queens is divided into two opposing sections: a slightly logical Zayday-Grace storyline and an over-the-top Chanel bitch fest. Boone just happened to be in between both of those storylines and their treatment of him showed just how different the two groups really are. For the Chanels, Boone was a ghost coming back to haunt (and kill) them all, while Zayday and Grace saw Boone and immediately figured out that he was the Red Devil that kidnapped Zayday.

Ghost Stories" really pushed audiences to think that Chanel #1 was the killer, and she made for a fantastic red herring. Unlike Branson in Scream, Chanel might actually be the Red Devil we saw stab Boone (the twin in the bathtub). That’s what makes Scream Queens so good at throwing suspicion around; it ensures that everyone is a legitimate suspect. I, for one, think Chanel #3 is the killer. Not only has she survived three attacks on her, I’m pretty sure the last one didn’t even happen. I mean, can we even trust her side of the story? Did she even get in her car at all? Why would she go back to the Kappa house after all that had happened?

"Ghost Stories" was the perfect amount of camp this time around. Like "Seven Minutes in Hell", it highlighted every cast member’s chemistry with each other and escalated the humor to a weird proportion. Hester’s rivalry with Chanel escalated to very fun proportions. Faking a pregnancy and everything, the level of Hester’s desire to have Chanel’s life could only get higher if she pulled a #5 and started wearing Chanel’s clothes. I’m not entirely convinced that she’s dead just yet, for all we know she was saved (and probably healed by the grace of Murphy magic) by her neck brace in the fall.

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