'UnREAL' S1E9: Princess

★ ★ ★ ★

The drama on-camera has finally been upstaged by all of the backstabbing, lying, and cheating off-camera. The entire episode drew focus away from Adam’s "troika" (No, really, that was the green-lighted word substitute for "trio") to focus on Quinn and Rachel’s uphill battle.

The Rachel triangle has gotten way more complicated recently. After having a "one-night stand) with Adam, she cuddles with Jeremy before deciding he’s "the one" [cue rolling eyes]. Either way, both bachelors want Rachel to escape with them and get away from the Evil Quinn and the Kingdom of Everlasting (more on that in a bit). Sweetening the pot, Quinn offers (later "offers") Rachel the chance of a lifetime: to become the partner of Quinn’s reality show franchise (if that ever happens).

I have to agree with Quinn and Adam on this one; Rachel’s acting pretty delusional about the whole Jeremy thing. Again, this whole "Weekend at Jeremy’s" segment is coming from the girl who, not two episodes ago, freaked out about getting the chance to run her own show and then manipulated Adam into signing onto "Royal Renovations". In fact, any time Rachel does something with Adam or Jeremy, she starts acting out of character — and while that may be a writing choice, it’s jarring.

Quinn’s war against Chet is getting messy and, as usual, Quinn hasn't planned enough before calling people to arms (at least she has Plan B). With Chet thinking she's at the doctor, Quinn tells Brad that she has eight years worth of reality show pitches waiting for him, and he wants to hear them (sidenote: wouldn’t a Skype call have been enough?). Either way, Quinn shoots herself in the foot after trying to convince Madison that suing Chet for sexual harassment is a good idea. Of course, naive little Madison goes to Dr. Wagerstein for advice on the whole situation.

UnReal S1

And then we have the biggest turn of events of the season. Dr. Wagerstein happens to have her own ulterior motives and tells Chet about the Quinn and Madison thing before pitching her own spin-off!

That’s not the only pitching going on; even Faith shares some words with Adam in an attempt to win Everlasting and be on Royal Renovations. Faith, after being the last person on set to find out about Royal Renovations (only finding out when audiences do), tells Adam that, if she wins, she’ll let him sleep with whoever he wants so that she and Amy can run off to San Francisco together. It all doesn’t matter though, because Adam eliminates her when forced to choose between the three remaining contestants. Adam handles his rejection of Faith very well, essentially telling her that she needs to accept her situation and find her own true happiness.

Meanwhile, for Anna and Grace, the claws are officially out, given how the two lash out at each other during an interview. Anna thinks Adam needs a partner who will be able to help out with the renovations and not "some diva who will pick out swatches." Grace fires back saying, "sad sack with a dead daddy who can’t keep her dinner down." Ouch. Grace, finally, having begun to show some insecurity after Royal Love is out of the picture, and worries that Adam only sees her looks (like Brad and Chet). Rachel tells Adam that "Until you propose, they’re all the one," so that he’ll treat Grace and Anna like they’re the winner of the whole show. Again, it’s good that Grace has being developed. Not only because we’ve gotten to know Anna all this time, but also because whoever wins will be in season two of UnREAL.

With Rachel having to choose between Adam and Jeremy, Quinn pressuring Rachel into working with her, and Adam’s live wedding, the finale should be pretty exciting. Also, it looks like Brittany’s coming back. That’ll be fun.

Fun fact: A definition of troika is "a Russian vehicle pulled by a team of three horses abreast."

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