Recaps for Rock of Love

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Dropping Like Flies *spoilers*

So after only the fourth episode, where we should be down to oh about thirteen contestants left, we are down to eight. In another "suprise" ending, London, after having some huge fights with Daisy denies his chain. Daisy leaves the scene crying and we are left to wonder what will happen to the guys who did not get eliminated, but also did not get a chain. Let's recap on the past losers who have already left the show. The first bang to go were the triplets from where? I don't know somewhere on the other side of the world, but all they did was eat, party, and tell Daisy it's buy one get two free with them. Even though she thought they were hot, still don't want to be seeing triple in the bedroom. Ew. They were gone before the first elimination. Nice way to hang in there guys! Next we had the actual elimination for the premier episode. After trying to talk with everyone, well those who weren't passed out drunk already, Daisy sends home Torch (thank god because he was so not hot and had the personality of a brick) home for "acting like a dolphin" and not even nicknamed flipper. She also sends Dropout home, because he was too much like a cartoon character. With a name like Dropout you know she just wanted him out, fast. Second episode rolls around and here we go with the list of people that actually start dropping out, on their own. Losers. Flipper who was so boisterous and "feeling daisy" leaves because he feels lie he can't compete. Pretty much, he's a wimp and couldn't handle watching other people do better than him. Had he been a girl and with other girls he'd be crying on a speed bump in a mini-skirt. Too bad. The two eliminated this episode are Professor and Weasel. Weasel's real name is Pauly but he is a far cry looks department from Pauly Shore in Son-In-Law. Plus he was a huge drinker, so Daisy said go home, I think she just didn't want to hold his hair back, I don't blame her. Professor though, I would have kept. I'd let him teach me a trick or two. But he obviously is not a rocker, and not the personality of a rocker. So back to teaching high school he goes, just let me know where so I can come and take a few classes again. And again. Episode three with all it's paintball glory came, and we see three more leave the show through elimination and withdrawal. Are any of these guys actually going to make it to the end without leaving, being eliminated, or throwing a huge hissy fit and trying to leave? I have my doubts. After getting wasted and calling his "ex" girlfriend all night and then having her call, and call, and call the house. Brooklyn reveals to Daisy right after the paintball challenge that he still has feelings for his ex. Couldn't have told her before being blasted with paintballs? Or was it because of the paintballs you realized you were a wimp and stuck in a rut. Sorry but there has to be a reason she is your ex. Go make the same mistakes twice. Then at the elimination ceremony, where Daisy was only going to let go of Cable Guy for being to wall-flowerish and not trying hard enough to win Daisy's love, Flex speaks up and tells Daisy that Tool Box has told everyone in the house he really isn't that into her. She tells him to leave. Ah another one down, another down....another one bites the dust. Yeah. Episode four comes and goes quite uneventful you could say. If you didn't watch it. Daisy has them perform nursery songs in a rock style. Two of the three judges pick Sinister's team because they actually carried a tune and performed. Daisy goes with Chi-Chi's team because, well no one is really sure why because the other two "bands" sucked. Riki even tells Daisy that he doesn't believe this. London goes on the group date and starts to feel like Daisy doesn't want to listen to his life story and that he thinks she has a problem with him *flashback to episode one of him wasted throwing up in the sink and Daisy frustrated that he's passed out on the floor* and drinking. He tells her he s

Pre-Premier Review *spoilers*

So if you've noticed most of tonight's premier episode is on VH1 already. I sat through it this morning and I really can't wait to see who they kick off tonight: will it be Drunken Gia who had eight too many, Bizarre Brittaney the sock stealer and "innocent" by-stander, or will it be Ashley who stood up for her friend, while her friend was drunkenly taking her down. As stated by one of the "real chance girls," the "rock of love girls" make them look like angels. I think that if they don't stand out in the challenges the real chance girls are going to fade into the background, if they haven't already. During group time these girls sit off by themselves and observe. I felt like I was sitting with them, more entertained by everyone else, lame! Drama makes a show interesting and these girls are going to be kicked off for poor ratings on their part if they don't step it up soon! Mingle with the other contestants girls! The blondetourage by far is my favorite, falling/groping all over each other while interviewing with one of the deans! French! Opening up the show with an Obama-like voice narrating over the country going bad and no wonder with girls like these is cute but a little gimmicky if you ask me. We have: Marcia "the Brazilian Boozer" who I think is adorable and we all know she loves her tequila, but then who doesn't?, Gia "The Shot Girl" (which from the reunion of Rock of Love bus, she's over a month sober now), So Hood "the horn dog", ok so she's up front who cares?, Farrah "the Girl-Kissing Bandit" and what I think of as the leader of the blondetourage, Bubbles "the Bubble Head" I think the writers could have used some more creativity here...perhaps "the ditzy Dominican?", from RC (Real Chance) we also have KiKi "the instigator" which in the scenes shown from RC she popped off from time to time, KO "the lost girl" but these day's who doesn't have some sob story to tell? Brittanya joins from RoL (rock of love) as "the violent offender", but if you watched RoL...she only reacted that way once which "shocked" everyone, otherwise she was the quite shy type dressed all slutty, so you know she was a contestant on a rock love show. Bay Bay Bay "the loud mouth" typical, Ashley "the Mean girl" far cry from Rachel McAdams though, maybe after Rachel had implants, tattoos, and one too many nights working at the strip club. Rounding it out we have, Risky "The Ticking Timebomb", Natasha "the hot head" who looks like a man, Brittaney "the crazy ex-pornstar" who needs a trip to the psych ward not charm school, and Beverly "the angry drunk" who never had time to sow her wild oates. And so we have our Charm School 3 line-up. Anyone have any favorites yet? I know I do! More to come after the full premier tonight!

Reunion Recap

Just when you thought you were done with the Rock of Love Bus, it's reunion show time. Everyone seems to have made it back for the reunion show, including the entirety of the blondtourage and perhaps most excitingly, DJ Lady Tribe. Seeing that this was a season of drama, back-stabbing, shocking decisions, and lots of smack talking, this reunion could definitely be very interesting. Of course, like most Mindy fans, I'm hoping for a Bret Michaels Bachelor style switcharoo at the reunion. Be a man and admit you chose the wrong lady Bret! Unlike Jason Mesnick, America will love you for doing so. And, double bonus, you'll end up with a woman you might actually have a chance at a real relationship with. Seriously, think about it Bret Michaels. As all VH1 Reality Reunion shows are, the Rock of Love Bus Reunion will be hosted by Riki Rachtman. Riki will be serving as tonight's emcee and calling up memorable girls to discuss their time on Rock of Love Bus. I, myself, would prefer that Big John emcee the Reunion and share the tidbits only he knows...maybe it'll happen on Rock of Love Bus Four. The first girl to be called to the stage is the spiritual, belly-dancing, celibate Constantina. Constanina, of course, is wearing some sort of bejeweled dot where her third eye is located. She also bejewels Bret's third eye, which he doesn't seem to use often, as it is covered by his trademark bandanna. The only reason Riki called Constantina up is to ask about her strange vow of celibacy. When asked if she's still celibate, Constanina says quite to the contrary, she's actually married now. After shimmying off the Rock of Love Bus tour Constantina met a great guy and was married on Christmas Eve by the Naked Cowboy. Now that is one spiritual ceremony. Turns out Constanina isn't the only woman who found love after being rejected by Bret. Two other women were engaged and married after leaving tour and one is already pregnant. To Read More Click here .

Finale Recap

After 12 weeks of criss-crossing the country and 21 girls being eliminated, we are down to the final two on Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels. This go-round Bret managed to look beyond the blonde and the train wrecks, to end up choosing between two fairly normal brunette beauties in the finale: Taya and Mindy. Of course, other than the fact they're not blondes and they've carried themselves with as much class as you can on a show like Rock of Love Bus, Mindy and Taya couldn't be more different. Mindy is a gorgeous girl next door from Cincinnati, Ohio who no one expected to make it this far on tour. Taya is the 2009 Penthouse Pet of the Year and Bret was instantly smitten with her, so it's really no surprise she's made it as far as she has on the road. Neither Taya or Mindy's road to the finale has been smooth. Mindy often suffered from mood swings, which worried Bret. Taya's motives were questioned throughout her tour because of her modeling career and as we later learned, a possible singing career. However, now that they're in the finale, both Mindy and Taya are convinced they will be Bret's Rock of Love. Taya, in her practiced, well-written way says that "When this is over, it's going to be he and I." Mindy takes a more competitive approach, "There's no stopping me, I want Bret." However, Mindy is aware she's facing some stiff competition in Taya, the Penthouse Pet. "It does look like Taya is the perfect Bret Michaels girlfriend, born and bred to be with a rock star. I'm just regular Mindy Hall, from Cincinnati, Ohio." Which is exactly why most of America is rooting for you Mindy, it's about time Bret tried his hand at a relationship with a real person, not another model. Remember how it turned out with Pam Anderson, Bret? To Read More Click Here .

Episode 11 Recap

It's getting to be big decision time on Rock of Love Bus. Only three girls remain on the road and we're just one episode away from Bret choosing this season's Rock of Love. While many men would envy Bret's situation, having to choose between three beautiful women who want you, Bret Michaels certainly doesn't seem to be enjoying himself. If I only had one word to describe this week's penultimate episode of Rock of Love Bus, it would be: painful. Painfully awkward, painfully boring, painfully dull. Even though there was plenty of drama this episode, it was more like a bad soap opera than a trashy reality show. While it may bode well for Bret's relationship that he's kept around the dullest of the girls, it sure doesn't make for good trashy reality TV. This week the three remaining girls--Jamie, Mindy, and Taya--are taking their final bus ride to Miami, Florida for some fantasy dates. While everyone seems happy to get off the bus, that seems the only bright spot for the girls. With only one elimination standing between them and the finale, the tension is high, politeness is out the window, and friendships are done. The gloves are off, the manicured claws are out, and the competition is on. When the girls get to Miami, Bret has three Carnivale style showgirl costumes for them. Jamie and Taya are thrilled to get in the sparkly pseudo-bikinis and head-dresses, but Miss Mindy, not so much. Mindy, it seems, is afraid of making herself look like an ass (too late darling, you're on Rock of Love Bus), but to her credit, there are also some major wardrobe malfunctions going on. Taya on the other hand, jumps in the complicated costume like a pro. Both Mindy and Jamie find this amusing, because despite constantly saying she's not a stripper, Taya seems to know all there is to know about strapping yourself into a skimpy outfit. And I have to agree with Mindy and Jamie, there is no way Taya is not a stripper, just like there is no way that woman is 29 years old. Bret hasn't seen the girls since Orland and he's "jonesing for them." While he's pleased to see Jamie and Taya in their Carnivale get-up, he's disappointed that Mindy has refused to participate in the dress-up portion of this date. After Bret voices his disappointment, the kind editors cut to a montage of Mindy complaining about just about everything. I never realized it, because I happen to like Mindy a lot, but there has been a lot of complaining on her behalf this season. Right after the montage, it's even more complaining from Mindy, which worries and angers Bret. Bret has a new nickname for Mindy: Captain Buzzkill. Not exactly a term of endearment for someone who you're kind of dating. To appease Bret's annoyance, Mindy slips into an itty-bitty sailor bikini, which seems to at least please Bret physically even though he thinks Mindy needs to learn how to roll with it. To Read More Click Here .

Episode 9 Recap

On last week's Rock of Love Bus, the blondtourage was killed when Bret eliminated Farrah, leaving Ashley the only blonde standing. We begin this week's rock'n'roll disaster with Ashley realizing that Farrah has been eliminated and that she is left with a bus full of brunettes. Needless to say, Ashely is not pleased. When Penthouse Pet Taya walks in instead of her BFF Farrah, Ashley says: "I see Taya and I want to die. I don't even know what I am going to do with myself." It's kind of sweet that Ashley is so upset about her BFF leaving, but it makes me wonder if she'd ever feel so upset about something Bret-related--I think no. For this week's adventure, the girls are heading to St. Augustine, Florida the oldest city in the United States. Unfortunately for the girls, it's not just the town they are staying in that's going to be a blast from the past: their exes and a couple of Bret's will be joining them for this episode. Everyone is rightly nervous about their exes showing up, except for Beverly who is super excited to see anyone she knows and cares about. Since this is a reality TV show, we know this means that no one will be showing up for Beverly, or the editors wouldn't have found that tid-bit interesting enough to include. Hide the booze folks -- this could get nasty! The first blast from the past we're introduced to is Amber Lake, the winner of Rock of Love 2 and Bret's ex-girlfriend. Something looks different about Amber since we last saw her on Rock of Love: too much plastic surgery? Bad extensions? Life on the road with Bret? All of the above? Amber says she and Bret dated for 10 months after Rock of Love ended and that she is here to help Bret hopefully find love that lasts. Most of the girls are excited to see Amber, but none of them are pleased when Bret introduces his other ex: Heather from season one of Rock of Love. You can't really blame the girls for not being thrilled to see Heather, last year she got into a huge hullabaloo with Daisy which turned physical. While no one is excited to see Heather, save Bret, Brittanya is the least excited for her appearance. Brittanya is positive she is going to brawl with Heather and Heather seems to have similar feelings towards the new crop of girls--she hasn't said a word to them and she's already calling them phonies and bitches. To Read More Click Here .

Episode 8 Recap

On this week's Rock of Love Bus, the drama that started the season out with a bang (or rather a tossed drink), has finally returned. Thank goodness! As I said last week, for a show with this much potential for insanity and drama, Rock of Love Bus has been somewhat of a snooze fest--and Bret still hasn't found love. If a season is going to unsuccessful in finding Bret a "Rock of Love" -- it better be damn entertaining. For the eighth episode of Rock of Love Bus, Bret is taking the remaining seven ladies to Panama City, "The Redneck Riviera." At least most of the girls should feel at home. Since there are so few girls left, the Blue Bus is abandoned in Alabama and everyone moves on to the Pink Bus. No one is pleased with this change. The Pink Bus is worried the lameness of the Blue Bus will spread to their Pink mobile mansion, while the ladies of the Blue Bus are upset they are going to have to deal with the over-the-top antics of the Pink Bus 24-7. If the producers of Rock of Love Bus really loved us and the drama, they would have made this change weeks ago. When the girls arrive in Panama City they can't wait to slip into itty-bitty bikinis and relax on the beach, but Bret has a different plan. While he is still all for the tiny bikinis he's decided to test the girls' maternal instincts. To this end, Bret has rounded up about a dozen kids, fed them ridiculous amounts of sugar and unleashed them upon the hotel pool with water balloons. The girls are tasked to take care of the kids and make sure they don't drown or run around the pool, all while Bret and Big John spy from a nanny-cam upstairs. While at first I thought this would be a total disaster, it turns out almost all of the remaining contestants are moms and only Jamie, Farrah, and Mindy aren't parents already. Most surprising is crazy girl Ashley, is amazing with the kids. And Ashley's not just fun, though she does let the kids destroy her signature blonde-beehive with a water balloon; when one of the kids wandered off and walked to a hot tub unattended--Ashley was the only girl to notice. Bret is especially impressed that Ashley is so good with kids and such a good multi-tasker: looking hot in a bikini and watching after kids, in Bret's book that equals multi-tasking. To Read A Full Recap Click here .

Episode 5 Recap

After four relatively dull episodes, Rock of Love Bus finally brought the crazy drama this week. Apparently we weren't the only folks bored with the ladies of Rock of Love as much of this weeks episode centered around Bret's displeasure with the women vying for his heart. Seeing that he's done this before, Bret's been comparing this season with his previous experiences on Rock of Love, and he is not happy. Bret just isn't feeling the girls this season like he was in Season 1 and 2. Despite being halfway through the season, Bret still doesn't feel like he's made any strong emotional or sexual connections, which makes for one moody rock star. This weeks tour takes the ladies to St. Louis, MO. The first stop in St. Louie is at Larry Flynts Hustler Club, which if you're keeping track, is the second strip club Bret has taken the ladies to this season. Unsurprisingly, the Pink Bus which houses the wild women of Rock of Love Bus are thrilled about pulling up to the Hustler Club--because let's face it, some of these ladies are intimately acquainted with the pole. The more reserved women of the Blue Bus are none too pleased by the Hustler Club; especially Beverly who has been to both strip clubs this season. Turns out the women of the Blue Bus are right to be apprehensive, because Bret has a show changing surprise inside. Inside the Hustler Club stands the ladies challenge...and shockingly, it did not involve a stripper pole. Instead, Bret challenged the ladies to a make-over challenge. No he's not turning the trash-tastic train wrecks of Rock of Love Bus into real ladies--that's what Charm School 3 is for, folks. Instead, Bret brought out three women who were obviously dressed to look especially unfortunate and tasked the ladies to turn them into hot rocker chicks. So out came the fake eye lashes teased hair, and midriff bearing tops and Bret was impressed...too impressed. Yes, the ladies of Rock of Love Bus did their job so well on these three unfortunate women that Bret fell in instant lust and did the unthinkable--he asked them to join the tour. So meet the latest Rock of Love Bus contestants America: Jamie, Jennifer and Kami. While Bret is super-pleased that he gets three new make-out buddies, the original Rock of Love Bus ladies are not pleased. The previously invincible Ashley is especially hurt by the new additions and she confronts Bret about it. In a sadistic turn of events, Ashley's pain and upset over the new girls makes Bret very happy and horny. After some serious tonsil hockey Ashley is feeling like her old self and gets on to talking smack about her remaining contestants...ah, back to the girl we love. Ashley tells Bret that she is convinced that Natasha is a man, and she lays out a whole list of reasons why. Bret is obviously drunk with lust, because he seems very swayed by Ashley's argument. While we would love that crazy twist, we are certain a penis would have been discovered somewhere in the vetting process for Rock of Love Bus. But Bret's not so sure, he is so worried that Natasha may be a man that he almost point blank asks her about having a potential-package during some alone time later. Unfortunately for all of us, Bret was the one who lacked the balls to go through with the question. For Full Recap Read Here .